Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's a good thing she inherited her Meme's duck feet...

...poor baby's gonna need 'em.

(All the photos are several days old...the water's much higher now.)

Karsin standing in their driveway

My two babies normally live right alongside a river, too. Unfortunately, they're presently livin in the river. That would be the Mississippi. They live just outside of St. Charles, Missouri...more or less, across the river from Grafton, Illinois.

And most of the Mississippi, in case ya didn't know, is way beyond flood stage.

For the last week or so, they've had to park their car and truck up on the small, gravel road that leads to their house and walk in. For the last several days, they've had to don their chest waders to take that same walk. Luckily, their home is essentially three stories...the main living areas are on the second and third floors...the bottom level is mainly storage and a big-assed, concrete patio.

Now, most of you don't know my daughter. But lemme tell ya...she's a "princess".

The idea of her wearing chest waders...whilst pullin her daughter and all her accoutrements...and groceries...and whatever else needs hauled in...back and forth in a little dingy...through the waist-high flood water of the Mississippi...just to get back and forth from their home to their vehicles...well...

I just can't wrap my head around it.

The other day, she was tellin me about the first time they tried it when the water wasn't quite so deep. She got on her chest-waders...and Karsin put her's on sans suspenders because, for some reason, they neglected to include them in the box. They improvised...and used a bungee strap. (Can you say "Beverly Hillbillies?) They started in...with several of the neighbors watchin to make sure they made it ok...and both promptly fell down.

I gotta tell ya...I was hysterical by this time.

She said they looked like a coupla turtles on their backs..tryin to get up. And, of course, the chest waders got water in 'em. So now, they're tryin to walk...with a coupla gallons of coooold Mississippi River water sloshin around their butts.

At that point, a very kind...but also-hysterical...neighbor offered them the use of his dingy for Karsin, who views the whole thing like an adventure, bless her little heart. (She IS her Meme's granddaughter, after all.)

The view from the corner of their house

Their boat dock

'Course, Jules hasn't lost her princess-ness, entirely. "I'm gonna move!" "I can't take this shit anymore!" "Wahhh...waaahhh...waaahhhh!" Her 'significant other', though...that guy's got it goin on. "Ya gotta remember...ya don't live in a resort. Ya live along the damn river. Ya gotta take the good with the bad."

He's right. And she knows it. But princess-ness...well, it's a hard thing to recover from. She's workin on it.

And I'm proud of her.

New photos today...

Karsin in her dingy

The Princess in chest waders

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If this is your idea of "religion"...

...then, I'll have the soup.

Ya know, when they first raided the YFZ ranch in Texas, I'll admit...I felt just a teeny twinge of sorry for the mothers who had their kids yanked away. I suppose I still feel a little sorry for 'em...they've all been brainwashed, the stupid cows. They know not what they do.

The men, on the other hand...especially the old, lop-eared bastards that run the joint...ya know...the ones that like to fuck little girls? I'd say I hope they rot in hell...except I don't believe in that, either.

State officials raided the FLDS's Yearning For Zion Ranch in Eldorado on April 3. They took custody of 463 children on the belief that the sect's practice of underage and polygamous spiritual marriages endangered the children.

A number of girls first listed as adults were reclassified as minors as Child Protective Services, a division of Family and Protective Services, moved the children last week from a mass shelter in San Angelo to foster care facilities around the state, including some near San Marcos, in central Texas.

On Monday, CPS announced that almost 60 percent of the underage girls living on the Eldorado ranch either have children or are pregnant.

Of the 53 girls between the ages of 14 and 17 who are in state custody, 31 either have given birth or are expecting, Azar said.

And this...this is an abomination.

WESTON, Wis. - Two parents who prayed as their 11-year-old daughter died of untreated diabetes were charged Monday with second-degree reckless homicide.

Family and friends had urged Dale and Leilani Neumann to get help for their daughter, but the father considered the illness “a test of faith” and the mother never considered taking the girl to the doctor because she thought her daughter was under a “spiritual attack,” the criminal complaint said.

“It is very surprising, shocking that she wasn’t allowed medical intervention,” Marathon County District Attorney Jill Falstad said. “Her death could have been prevented.”

The whole sad, infuriating story is
  • here
  • .

    How dare we condemn the fundamentalist Muslims for their beliefs when shit like this goes on right here. Just how the hell arrogant are we?

    Now, I realize that we're talkin about the nth degree of "Christian" fundamentalism here. But I'm thinkin there's a pretty fine line between "faithful" and "zealot". Just a little tweak to the thinkin and...boom!'re there.

    And, that is what scares the ever-lovin shit outa me about religion.

    Ya know, I really don't give a rat's ass what people believe in. God. Buddha. Mohammed. The Flyin Spaghetti Monster. Whatever gets ya through the day. But ya don't force your beliefs on me...or innocent kids.

    Do I believe in a "higher power"? Nope. I do, however, believe that there's a whole lotta evil out there, hiding behind the mask of "Christianity".

    Monday, April 28, 2008


  • Eric
  • has posted the recipe for his Mama's Quick and Easy Chicken Casserole. It sounds awesome...but for me, quite un-doable.

    All the sodium woulda likely kilt me. Or at the very least, made me puff up like a poisoned pup.

    See, I've been tryin to eat like a Meat, fresh (or frozen) veggies and only whole grains in the form of pasta, but no bread. No sugar. The absolute minimum of sodium, preservatives or other "additives". It's a bit of a challenge, but I do pretty well at it...there's a lotta products out there now that make it a little easier.

    I've gotta admit, though...I do miss my casseroles. So I occasionally cheat. Oh, I don't do it very often. But...ya know?...a girl's just gotta have a casserole once in a while.

    And Eric's Mama's casserole sounded good enough to make me wanna cheat. Here's her version for those of you who don't need watch the sodium intake:

    1 can of cream of celery soup
    1 can of cream of mushroom soup
    1 can of cream of chicken soup
    1 can of chicken broth
    1 tablespoon of black pepper
    2 large chicken breasts
    1 box of Stove Top stuffing

    .... basically you boil the chicken breasts until they are cooked through-and-through... once they've cooled, you pull them apart with your fingers so that they're nice and stringy and will get stuck between your teeth with an unearthly ease....

    ... once that's done, combine all of the soups, broth, and black pepper together in a casserole dish and stir up nicely.... once they're mixed well, spoon in your shredded chicken and stir again.... prepare your stuffing as per the little box, and spoon it over the soup/chicken mixture..... bake at 350 until heated through.... usually about 20-25 minutes....

    Now, here's my version...which is in the oven as we speak:

    1 can low-sodium cream of mushroom soup
    1 can low-sodium cream of chicken soup
    1.5 C homemade chicken broth (see below)
    3 boneless-skinless chicken breasts (because the package I had had 3 in it), boiled & chopped
    2 medium-sized portobello mushrooms, chopped (because I had 'em and they needed to be used)
    2 boxes (I used 2 because I used more chicken...and we love leftovers) of Low-Sodium Stove-Top Stuffing Mix, prepared per package directions

    I skipped the cream of celery soup because I'm not a big fan, plus I couldn't find low-sodium.

    I boiled the chicken breasts. While they simmered, I added a couple teaspoons of poultry seasoning (the kind with no salt), a couple tablespoons of dried, chopped onion and a couple tablespoons of dried celery flakes, maybe a teaspoon of sea salt (it has less sodium than table salt) and some freshly ground black pepper. Voila! Home-made chicken broth...with virtually no sodium.

    Follow the rest of Mama de Eric's recipe.

    But Pammy, you might ask...usin all that low-sodium crap, does it still taste as good?

    Well, lemme tell ya...I just this minute yanked it from the oven. It looks simply lovely...all nicely brown on top with the soup mixture bubblin up through it here and there.

    Though I've obviously never tasted Mama de Eric's casserole, which I'm sure is delicimous, mine's damn good, if I do say so myself.

    And, it's hot. And I have the blister on the roof of my mouth to prove it.

    Friday, April 25, 2008


    I'm not exactly a frou-frou kinda gal. As far as clothes go, (if I hafta wear 'em) the simple classics are my choice. I absolutely don't do flowers or ruffles or anything frilly. Oh, and no...or very few...pastels.

    I'm not a "girly-girl". Except when it comes to perfume. I like to smell good, but again, nothing overpowering, overly "flowery" or sickening sweet. I like clean with a hint of spicy. I love good perfume. Don't gimme that Avon(gag)shit. Or anything with a celeb's name on it. Most of that crap smells like perfumey horse piss.

    For the last year or so, I've been using Philosophy's
  • Amazing Grace
  • . I love the irony of the name as it pertains to me. "Graceful", I ain't. I love the scent and have gotten lots of compliments on it. But it just doesn't last long enough.

    So I did a bit of perfume shoppin today, and snagged a little
  • Euphoria
  • .

    Very nice.

    Wednesday, April 23, 2008


    Your Karaoke Theme Song is "Margaritaville"

    You are a true party animal, but your style is mild and chill.

    Kicking back with a few friends and a few drinks is all you need to be happy.

    You certainly don't feel pressured to be a part of any party scene. In fact, you avoid trendier spots.

    You've been known to kick loose anywhere and everywhere. All you need is a cooler.

    You might also sing: "Gin and Juice," "Love Shack," and "Red Red Wine"

    Stay away from people who sing: "Wind Beneath My Wings"

    Unceremoniously swiped from
  • Leslie
  • .


    Got my first sunburn of the season today. It was an awesome 80 degrees. The last couple of days, everything has just burst into bloom. The river has gone down enough that I could do a little beachcombin. I looooove walkin along the rocky beach, lookin for interesting shells...unusual rocks...sculptural pieces of driftwood...dead carp. heh

    No carp today, though, but I did spot a dead bullhead. Perfect eatin' size, too. I'm definitely gettin a fishin license this year. Even if I don't catch a damn thing, I'll have fun drownin the worms.

    I also finished up the planter boxes on the deck with some springerii fern, planted a big-ass pot of various herbs...rosemary, basil and Italian parsley and transplanted some chives that miraculously survived the miserable winter. Oh, and I planted a couple caladium in a shady spot that doesn't seem to grow anything else.

    Now I'm keepin my fingers crossed that we don't get a frost. I'll be one pissed Pammy. heh

    Rocky beach

    Clear water

    Guardian of the River Rat Retreat This was one of Ziggys' Christmas presents last year. I was beginnin to think we wouldn't ever get to put 'im up.

    Tuesday, April 22, 2008



    Kiss my ass. I'm goin RED.

    My little contribution to "Earth Day". (snort)

  • Tammi's post
  • stirred up a whole hornet's nest of thoughts in my little pointy head. She's not alone in her sentiments.

    It's become the trendy (gag) catchphrase...Go green! But has anybody really thought about what it means to go green? Has anyone really thought about the whole cause and effect thing of going green?

    Go buy a package of those compact fluorescent bulbs. Makes ya feel good to do somethin "green"? Fabulous. Now think about just exactly how much mercury will contaminate the earth when all those millions of bulbs do finally burn out and get thrown out with the regular trash. C'mon...ya know they will.

    Go buy a vehicle that burns ethanol or some other "bio-fuel". Make ya feel good to use less petroleum products? Awesome. Now think about the unprecedented world food shortage that's looming, in part, because we're producing more corn to be used as fuel...not food. Three-quarters of the world might starve, but by gawd, the yuppies can feel gooood about savin the planet, huh?

    Don't, fer gawd's sake, just buy a smaller vehicle, ride-share or try to drive less.

    We essentially did away with glass containers...which can be recycled easily into all sorts of other useful things and don't pose much of an environmental risk...and switched to...plastic. Which has a half-life of like a gazillion years...and which they've now discovered contains chemicals that might cause cancer. Feel good about buyin your plastic-bottled water now? Excellent. Just remember...colostomy bags are plastic, too.

    And don't even get me started on the whole bottled water thing. Good gawd. Don't I just wish I coulda got in on the ground floor of that particular little scam. Don't even tell me that you think it's somehow "healthier" than plain, ole tap water. In most cases, it IS plain, old tap water, doofus.

    Nah. Ziggy and I have decided that we're not buyin into the whole "green" hoo-haa. Nope. We're goin red. Mainly because red's my favorite color. And, I'll admit it. We're selfish. I think the color of selfishness should be red.

    So it is.

    We've replaced most of our incandescent light bulbs with the green ones. But it sure as shit isn't because they're "green". It's because they last longer. And we're too lazy to drag out the ladder to change the bulbs in the ceiling fixtures. It's purely selfish on our part. We're "Going Red!"

    Like Tammi, we don't litter. Not because it's not the "green" thing to do. Because it's the "right" thing to do. I don't wanna look a buncha trash along the streets or highways, so we don't contribute to it. It's purely selfish on our part. We go "red".

    I use canvas totes when I go grocery shoppin. But not because it's "green". Because the totes are a helluva lot easier for me to carry and they hold more. Purely selfish on my part. It makes my life easier. Yup. "Red".

    Ya think all these big companies are "going green" because it's the right thing to do? Please don't tell me you believe that. They're doin it because it's trendy. They're all jumpin on the green bandwagon because it'll make them more money. Bottom line. Plain and simple. They can (and do) charge more for whatever their product is because they can claim it's "green".

    For example, go price a bottle of Windex and then price some green shit that claims to do the same thing. Now, think about it. If that product is "earth friendly", it's probably made up of some pretty simple ingredients. Ingredients that are cheap. In most cases, probably cheaper than whatever the ingredients of Windex is. So ask yerself...why is it more expensive?

    Because the sheeple will eat it up if it says "green" on the label.

    And let's face it...sheeple don't have common sense enough to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions are written on the damn heel. That's why they're sheeple.

    That's really what this all comes down to, though. Common sense. I think our society is sorely lacking in the common sense department.

    Like Tammi, I'm not bendin on this, either. I refuse to buy a product just because it claims to be "green". I refuse to buy a product just because it's trendy.

    The backlash starts here.

    Monday, April 21, 2008

    We are fam-i-ly...I've got all my sistas and me...

    My mind is a terrible place to be, sometimes...

    SAN ANGELO, Texas (AP) — Using cotton swabs and cameras, lab technicians began taking DNA samples Monday from hundreds of children and mothers — many in long, pioneer-style dresses — in hopes of sorting out the tangled family relationships within the West Texas polygamist sect.

    A judge ordered last week that the genetic material be taken to help determine which children belong to which parents.

    I believe that one of two things will happen. Either they'll find out that there's not a whole helluva lotta difference in the DNA (can you spell I-N-B-R-E-E-D-I-N-G?), or they'll find that a lot of the DNA is a bit...unusual.

    Remember the creepy, gum-chewin alien chick in the movie
  • Mars Attacks!
  • ? Pale. Poufy hair. Hiiiigh forehead. Pointy features. Dressed in a long-sleeved, ankle-length dress.

    Now, take a look at one of the mothers from the West Texas polygamist cult. (Yes, it's a cult.) Pale. Poufy hair. Hiiiigh forehead. Pointy features. Dressed in a long-sleeved, ankle-length dress.

    I'm thinkin they might just give Scientology a run for it's money.

    Sunday, April 20, 2008

    Plant a palm tree?

    Pfffftttt! We'll build one.

    We had an old, rusty outdoor light pole that no longer worked planted smack-dab in the middle of our yard. It was ugly and we made a palm tree outa it.

    Ziggy cut 3 or 4 feet off the top and "wrapped" the rest with bamboo poles that had been cut in half. I had nine big silk banana leaves that I snagged on clearance somewhere a coupla years ago, so I wrapped 'em together and Zig stuck 'em in the top of the hollow pole.

    We hung a parrot from one of the "branches" and screwed a buncha different signs...some store-bought...some I the "trunk".

    Signage reads from top to bottom - Zig's River Rat Retreat; Key Largo - 1436 mi.; Happy Hour - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere; To The Bar; No Shoes, No Shirt? No Problem!

    We added a coupla tin flamingoes and voila! One build-it-yerself Illinois Palm Tree. Eatcher heart out, Charlie Brown. heh

    Yea, I know it's rushin the season a little. But it was about 75 degrees and absolutely gorgeous today. And I just can't wait another minute for summer. In fact, we made a trip to the local greenhouse yesterday, and I bought a couple of astilbes for the front yard and some really unusual coleus for our planter boxes that sit on the deck rail. They didn't have any springerii (asparagus fern) yet, so I'll hafta make another trip for those to plant alongside the coleus. I still need three Boston ferns, a fuschia, a hibiscus, a pot of some kinda shade-loving bloomer for the front...and a partridge in a palm tree. heh

    There's a coupla thick, juicy rib-eyes and a mouth-waterin caprese salad hangin in the fridge. I'm gonna fry up a plateful of eggplant frittes and I believe we'll just dine al fresco this lovely spring evening. When it gets dark, I think we might build a fire in the chiminea that we moved down by the river (you can juuuust see it in the first photo), pull our chairs close and enjoy a nightcap of somethin or other. is good.

    Later that same day...

    A happy little fire.

    Twilight hush.

    Yellow moon rising.

    Friday, April 18, 2008

    Normally, when our bed shakes like that...

    ...there are two people in it.

    This morning, it was just moi. And I was sound asleep.

    I sat bolt upright (Bolt upright. Sounds like a comic book character, huh? Bolt Upright and his trusty sidekick General Disarray.) and wondered just what the hell was goin on.

  • WEEK's
  • website:

    The U.S. Geological Survey says this morning's 5.2-magnitude earthquake was likely generated by the Wabash fault zone in southeastern Illinois and southwestern Indiana. Aftershocks were felt throughout the area around 10:15 a.m measuring about 4.5-magnitude.

    The quake surprised residents unaccustomed to such a large
    Midwest temblor.

    USGS geophysicist Carrieann Bedwell says the quake about six
    miles from West Salem, Illinois occurred in a northward extension
    of the New Madrid fault area.
    The fault is the country's most active seismic zone east of the
    Rockies and produces numerous small quakes a year, but most are too
    weak to be noticed by the public.

    In 1811 and 1812, the fault it produced a series of earthquakes
    estimated at magnitude 7.0 or greater.

    The Wabash fault zone generated a magnitude 5.0 quake in 2002
    and a 5.1 in 1987.

    This morning's sizable temblor was felt from Georgia to
    Michigan, but no major damage has been reported in Illinois.

    Friday, April 11, 2008

    Dan turned me on

    No, not "my" Dan. He turns me on, too. But in a different way. heh

    Commenter Dan Dermody brought Israel Kamakawiwo'ole to my attention. And now I'm hooked. Granted, he wasn't exactly the traditional sense, anyway. But...gawd...that voice. And I do love a guy with a great big...uke.

    Here, he does a medley of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Wonderful World", two of my all-time favorites.

    I understand he's gone to the big Kahuna in the sky...whatta loss.

    Wednesday, April 09, 2008

    I'm pretty sure I just lost my ticket to nirvana

    I'll probably be reincarnated as a bacteria in a carbuncle right smack-dab in the middle of Michael Moore's taint.


    A baby with two faces was born in a northern Indian village, where she is doing well and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess, her father said Tuesday.

    Go ahead.... me weird.

    But I love this kid.

    I think I like him so much because of his different-ness. I mean...American Idol..."Somewhere Over the Rainbow"...and a ukelele? Whodathunkit?

    I love his...folkiness. I suppose that's a throwback to my hippie-chick years. He's definitely not "pop" material, so I really doubt that he can make it as this year's winner...he's too different, ya know? Just doesn't fit the mold.

    That simple fact makes him a winner in my book. Not that that's worth anything. heh

    Tuesday, April 08, 2008

    I've got a helluva headache

    From the folder marked "Irony/More Bureaucratic Bullshit"...a little background:

    From WEEK TV's website today:

    There have been some of the worst cases of child abuse in central Illinois in the news lately. The Benjamin Sargent case in February, where authorities say a 5-month-old baby was left strapped in his car seat eight days without food.

    And this past weekend's case, where police say 22-year old Timothy Johnston kicked a three-year-old in the genitals and slapped his face.

    Currently, there are 1,179 child abuse and neglect cases pending in Peoria County.

    Today, a group trying to raise awareness of child abuse joined hands with those in law enforcement, the judicial system, child advocates and concern citizens.

    Peoria County Sheriff Mike McCoy said it is time for abuse and neglect to end. He says it is a top law enforcement priority.

    Patti Morris with the Center for Prevention of Abuse says it is important for people to report abuse so those children can be help. She says children face abuse on the Internet and from those they know.

    "It's about helping the children and making people aware of the risks and the kinds of things that put them at high risks. It is not just strangers; it is often times people closest to them and that the most important thing people need to know," said Morris.

    This is the situation in the weekend abuse case involving Timothy Johnston. He was babysitting his girlfriend's three-year-old boy when police say he abused the child.

    Got that? Ok, now go read about the
  • Law.

    If ya don't wanna take the time to do that, in a nutshell:

    The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) was enacted by the U.S. Congress in 1996.

    According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) website, Title I of HIPAA protects health insurance coverage for workers and their families when they change or lose their jobs.

    Title II of HIPAA, the Administrative Simplification (AS) provisions, requires the establishment of national standards for electronic health care transactions and national identifiers for providers, health insurance plans, and employers.

    The AS provisions also address the security and privacy of health data. The standards are meant to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the nation's health care system by encouraging the widespread use of electronic data interchange in the US health care system.

    Like most laws, HIPAA has it's share of...glitches.

    Ok, so as a Registered Nurse and in the scope of my practice at my current job, I'm what's called a "Mandated Reporter". That means, if I suspect that child abuse or neglect has occurred, I'm compelled to report it to DCFS. No if's and's or but's...I hafta call the DCFS Hotline and write up an extremely detailed report.


    If DCFS calls me back for more information....I can't fuckin say a word. Not. One. Word. I cannot give them any more information...even if I have it...because of this fuckin HIPAA law, more specifically, the part of the law that concerns the "security and privacy of health data". And the only way they can get more information is to subpoena it. Which takes time. And time is somethin that a lotta poor, abused little kids don't have.

    Could this possibly be any more insane?

    Ya know, here in Illinois, we hear a lotta stories about the Department of Children and Family Services droppin the ball...lettin abused kids slip through the cracks...but is it any wonder, fer chrissake?

    We're absolutely outraged when we hear about DCFS investigating this or that case and nothing happens...and then a kid...or two...turns up horribly abused...or dead. And I'm sure that there are times they do slip through the cracks because of a less-than-aggressive investigator.

    But, just remember...there are other times...times like this...that we...with stupid laws like this...essentially prevent them from doing what they're supposed to. Protect innocent kids.

    I swear ta gawd...they can "join hands" all they want...but it's just not very effective when those hands are tied.

    Saturday, April 05, 2008

    Where's my candidate?

    My thoughts this morning are far too deep for such a beautiful day. I should be up-and-at-'em...cleanin off the deck...takin a walk...anything rather than what I'm doin. Which is sittin here, readin blogs and articles about angry white men and gettin all fired up about (spitting the word out cause it tastes nasty in my mouth) politics.

    I keep hopin that one of the current crop of presidential hopefuls will start standin out. I keep hopin that one of 'em will speak to me
    and not keep givin me a big, ole mouthfulla they have been doing.

    I want a candidate who believes that less governmental control...not better.

    I want a candidate who believes that the right to carry a gun to protect yourself (providing you have an IQ over 40, of course) is a good thing.

    I want a candidate who believes that immigrants should become US citizens and learn to speak English if they want to enjoy the benefits we offer. If they don't, show 'em the door, post-haste, no exceptions. There's no reason ya can't still be proud of your heritage, but if ya wanna live in America, BE an American.

    I want a candidate who believes that a woman's body and/or reproductive system...and what she does with her own business and nobody elses.

    I want a candidate who believes that education is the key to...well...everything. A real education. One that teaches real skills like reading, writing and math and not this moronic, look-good-on-paper, "No Child Left Behind", touchy-feely, "Oh, poor little Johnny is just plain stupid, but we should pass him because otherwise, his wittle ego will be injured" horseshit.

    I want a candidate who believes that every citizen is entitled to a little help when they need it...up to a certain point. And that "point" should fall far, far short of generation after generation of welfare families.

    I want a candidate who believes that personal responsibility should be just that...personal. A person's decision to eat trans-fats or keep smoking or do anything else that might be "bad" for them is exactly that...their own decision.

    I want a candidate who believes that American "big businesses" should recognize...and take care of...the people who made them big businesses in the first damn place. The American worker.

    I want a candidate who believes in capital punishment for cold-blooded killers and child molesters.

    I want a candidate who believes that who a person loves should not make them any less deserving of the rights and benefits afforded to "traditional" couples. If it makes everyone so hinky to call a same-sex union a "marriage", call it somethin else, fer shit's sake.

    I want a candidate who will step up and say, "I'm truly sorry about slavery. It was a bad thing. It was abolished damn near a hundred and fifty years ago. Get over it, already."

    I want a candidate who believes we should take care of our own before trying to take care of the world. We should be an example...not an enforcer.

    I want a candidate who believes that all's fair in love and war...if it's a justified war.

    I want a candidate who believes that we should make every effort to be a self-sufficient nation. If that means compromising the natural habitat of the Three Peckered Billy Goat, then so be it. Ya think that the natural habitat of Saudi Arabia's Three Peckered Billy Goat population hasn't been compromised? Why is ours any more important than theirs?

    I want a candidate who believes in the right to free speech. No matter what ya say, there's some bloviating, sputtering, shit-fer-brains whose "sensibilities" will be offended. "Offended" never killed anybody. GET. OVER. IT.

    I want a candidate who believes that "religion" is subjective and highly personal and has no place in government. Believe whatcha want...but don't try to inflict it on anyone else.

    I don't care whether that candidate is male or female, Democrat or Republican. I don't care whether that candidate is black or white or any combination thereof. I don't care whether that candidate is a Christian or a Hindu or an athiest as long as they don't pander to their own cause in the process of doin their job. I don't care about any of that.

    I just want a candidate who has his or her fair share of plain, simple common sense, who's not afraid to openly speak about what he or she believes so that we know what we're gettin into; one who'll stop all this insane, finger-pointing, double-talking, he-said/she-said horseshit.

    I just want a candidate who doesn't lie. Is that too much to ask for?

    Anyone? Anyone?



    Thursday, April 03, 2008

    "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

    H.L. Mencken

    Ya just can't make this shit up.

    (BELLEVUE, OH) — Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

    Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

    The neighbor — who wishes to remain anonymous — saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

    Ya know, those holes in patio tables are pretty good-sized, diameter-wise, I mean. I wonder....naaahhhh. Nevermind.

    (I could say something about...a squash. But only a couple-three people would...get it. heh)

    The story snagged from Christine.

    It must be...spring?

    Ya wouldn't know it by the weather around here still, but during my workday today, I noticed a couple of happenings around town that just screamed Spring has sprung!

    The Annual Planting O'Palms in Peoria

    Photo and blurb courtesy of WEEK TV.

    Workers were getting ready for the Peoria Chiefs' home opener Monday night with the annual palm tree planting.

    Crews started early this morning by removing the old trees and then planted nine Queen Palms from Florida.

    Chiefs officials say for the sixth straight year, Kelch Turf Farms and Landscaping out of Kickapoo planted the trees in the left field and left-centerfield berms.

    The Chiefs and O’Brien Field started the tradition of Palm Trees in Peoria when the stadium opened on May 24, 2002 with 20 trees both inside and outside the stadium. The Chiefs switched to Queen Palms before the 2003 season as the Queens are better equipped to handle the changes in the Central Illinois climate. This season, as in 2004, the Queen Palms will only be planted inside the stadium, as trees more indigenous to Central Illinois have been planted outside the stadium.

    See, when they first started this, a lotta people bitched about it...waste of money...stupid thing to do...yada, yada, yada. But I happen to think it's kinda neat. It's not like I go to any Chiefs games, anyway, so if they hafta jack up the ticket price a couple of cents to cover the cost of the palms...what the hell?

    Gawd knows...Peoria needs a little somethin to make it special. I'd much rather it be known for palm trees than some white-elephant of a museum/altar of worship of the Great Yellow God (Caterpillar).

    And the second thing that screamed "spring!"?

    Emo's is open!

    'Course, it's not like I'll be able to enjoy one of their awesome "hot tamale in a cup"s or their fantastically messy, but delicious chili dogs or any of their delectable ice cream treats. Unfortunately, my current intake of wonderful things like that has been...severly curtailed. On the bright side, I've lost five pounds.

    Funny. That doesn't make me feel any better. (sigh)

    Tuesday, April 01, 2008

    Guess I chose the wrong profession

    If I'd have worked for Heidi Fleiss, I'd have been a millionaire by now. heh

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