Sick decor chick

So....my recuperation is progressing....slooooowly. Not nearly as fast as I think it should. 'Course, when I do feel pretty good, I overdo and feel like crap the next day or two.

But I keep pushing it. I feel like I have to push it a little bit or I'll sit here and just...fade away. I'm still not back to work. I try to do things around here that need done...or that I think need done. Actually, not much needs to be done. And the Zigster's been a huge help since I've been a sicky.

 The fact of the matter is, I'm bored silly most of the time.

 Fortunately, there's online shopping.

 UNfortunately, you not only hafta pay for the stuff, ya have to find something to do with it whenthe Wells Fargo wagon is a....comin down the street....

Uh....'scuse me. I watched The Music Man the other night. heh. I digress. Can't help it. It's the prednisone.

As I was saying...ya need to find something to do with it. That's a problem when I don't have the oomph to do it myself. (Hence the title of this particular post.) heh

 "Ohhh, Zigggggyyyyy?..........

 Zebra's out. Antelope's in. (Faux antelope, of course. I swear....no antelope were harmed during the production of this decor change.) And Stewie approves.

 And plastic mini's are out. Bamboo's where it's at, man. Can't believe how much the espresso blinds warmed up the grey walls.

I really feel like I want to change things around for spring. I mean...it's been this way since we moved in...a whole what?...3 months or so? But again....it's gonna hafta wait until I feel better.

Ziggy's been just swell. And I know he's a patient man.

To a point. heh

Snatched from the jaws of death

Ok, so it's not quite that dramatic. It just felt that way.

I started getting sick the middle of last week. Not SICK, exactly. I mean, I didn't feel sick. I just couldn't breathe.

 Being a nurse, of course, I put off going to the doc as long as I could. See, I know too much. I know all the bad things that not being able to breathe means. And I just didn't wanna hear it.

 I AM the Queen of Denial, ya know.

When I started getting feelings of impending doom, I figured I'd better just give it up. I woke Ziggy up from a nap and said, "Take me to the hospital". Yea, it was that bad. Pass the doctor and go straight to the jaws of hell...uh...I mean the Emergency Department.

 We got there, they took one look at me and I was whisked into the ED faster than...I dunno. I can't think of a fast enough analogy right now. My brain is pretty much in a prednisone-fuddle. Anywho, it was much faster than normal.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. I had a pulse ox clipped on my finger (around 80 percent...not good...not good AT ALL), O2 slapped on my face, a heart monitor snapped on my....ahem....ample chest, an IV stabbed in my hand. Then it rapid succession, an EKG, a chest x-ray and even an in-room echo of my heart.

Surprisingly fast, the 12 year old ER doc was back in my room and this is what I heard: "Blah, blah, blah....white count high....blah, blah, blah....COPD....blah, blah, blah....lungs don't look too bad, but there's a nodule in your right lung about the size of a marble...blah, blah, blah...don't see any local lymph involvement...."

At that point, I shut off and though he hadn't even mentioned the word, CANCERCANCERCANCERCANCER echoed through my head. Kinda like in an empty barrel. Like I said, I know too much. THIS is why I didn't wanna come to the hospital. People die in hospitals.

Of course, he went on to say that "this could be the luckiest day of your life. It might be nothing. But if it is, it's small, it's in a good place (there's a GOOD place for cancer??) and we've caught it quick."

Fuck. I wasn't exactly feelin lucky, if ya know what I mean.

I was promptly admitted and scheduled for a CT scan the next morning at 8. I figured it'd be noon before I got it, but was mightily surprised to see them come for me promptly at quarter til 8 the next morning. That worried me, too. It was too fast.

Then is when everything slooooooowed down and we played the waiting game. Fine time for that, eh?

Long story short, I'm ok. The pesky "nodule" is just a granuloma...old scar tissue from past bouts with pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. I caught some as-yet unidentifiable bug that started the whole process. And I have been diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease...not surprising after smoking for 30 years or so. DON'T SMOKE, KIDDIES! AND IF YOU DO, PLEASE TRY TO STOP NOW. I know it's not easy. I quit 3 years ago this month and believe me...if I can do it, ANYbody can. I have no willpower, whatsoever. Zip. Nada.

 There. There's your public service announcement for the day.

So I'm outa the joint and back home, hopefully on the mend. I think it's gonna be slow goin, though. I still get short of breath walkin from one end of the house to the other (and we have a SMALL home). I NEED to rest, but I also NEED to move. I just NEED to figure out when to do what. Lemme tell ya, though....I'm feelin pretty damn thankful right now. 

Looks like a cathouse around here....

...except for the dog...and the squirrel. heh "You don't really need to work on the 'puter right now, do ya? Wouldn't you rather give me some attention?"

This is our daughter's beau and our "granddog" Tucker.

And this is a damn squirrel.

Whew!

Somehow, I seem to have lost an entire season.

Legends of the fall, hell. I don't even remember the fall. Last time I looked, I was decorating for summer....in an entirely different house.

But December is upon us, so I decided I'd better get with the program.

Stick a fork in me....I'm done. Decorating for Christmas, anyway. Still got a lotta shoppin to do, though.

'Course, Christmas decorating wouldn't be complete without deciding where to put da boys. Stewie chose a sunny window while Simon does his interpretation of  The Owl and the Pussycat.


 

Pining for the fjords

We're all moved and settled. Pretty much, anyway. I love our new home. I love the process of making it ours...tweaking things to work...for us. Changing things around from the original chaos that is "just getting all the crap in the house" so it's cohesive and makes sense.

That being said, I find myself gazing out the window that's over our sink...seemingly lost in thought...but really just missing the river. Now all I have to capture my attention is the elderly (look who's talkin, here?) neighbor's backyard with the occasional fat, fluffy squirrel or JoAnn their old, stiff-legged beagle who barks just to clear her throat.

 I do miss the river. I miss her moods. What's she like today? Is she Dark, angry and choppy? Or as calm and smooth as a pane of glass?

I miss the animals. The squirrels there seemed more entertaining. I miss the huge, slow-flying egrets...and the clunky, prehistoric-looking pelicans. I even miss the pesky, yapping gulls...watching them swoop and dip so gracefully. I know I'll miss eagle-watching this winter. Their high-pitched "chattering" in the early morning; watching as they dive and catch big catfish for breakfast, pulling them up on the ice and tearing into them with their powerful beaks. Gore on ice. Nice.

I even found myself missing our little blue house with it's enormous picture window overlooking the world and the noisy, rattle-ty-squealy water pump. So I drove by there today on my way home from work. Slowly.

And I discovered something. I still miss the river. But it's no longer "our" little blue house. Even though there's someone else there now, it looks...sorta sad. And neglected.

And as I drove down our "new" street, past the front of our home...ours...I thought to myself, "I'm home".

And the river, she will always be there for me. I can go see her every, single day if I want to. And next summer, we'll spend time on the boat...on her. And when I die...30 or 40 years from now (I say with crossed fingers)...I will join her and become part of her.

And I will pine for the fjords no longer.

Hey...my ancestors were Vikings. Cut me a break.

The next time I move it damn well better be via hearse

And I mean it! Good gawd. How does one accumulate so much....crap...in 6 years? For the last 4 weekends, we've been decrapifying in prep for the movers to arrive on October 19. Yea, we're using movers. They'll do it all. Except the said decrapifying. I can't even begin to imagine what it woulda been like if we'd not been using a moving company. Makes me sweat just to think about it. But I think the worst is just about done. Thank gawd.

I'll miss views like this

This is what I came home to tonight...

and I'll miss views like this....

and this...

Yup. We're leaving Ziggy's River Rat Retreat and, once again (hopefully for the last time), becoming homeowners. We've bought a little bungalow in town...our retirement home...so to speak. I'll miss a lotta things about living on the river. Mainly, the wildlife. And the views out my front door like those above. And the neighbors...they're all great. But, I won't miss sometimes living IN the river...and boating out. I also won't miss our miniscule bathroom. Yea. Lookin forward to having one I can turn around in. We are looking forward to getting in and settled and...well...settled. We've loved it here, but I think we both knew it wouldn't be a place we'd call a "forever" home. A couple more weeks and I'll show ya some photos and tell ya aaallll about it. I know. Ya can't wait, can ya?