Anyone noticed these

Dove deodorant

commercials?

They want you to try the product and they tell you that you'll experience softer, smoother underarms in just five days!

Now, my pits aren't my favorite place to stick my fingers. But on those occasions that I have felt my underarms...like when shavin...I haven't noticed that they're particularly calloused or crusty in the first damn place. And I've never even tried Dove deodorant.

Isn't life just too damn short to be worryin about shit like softer, smoother armpits?

Who the hell's gonna know that your pits are softer and smoother except you? I mean..it's not like one's underarms are high on the list of erogenous zones. Uh. At least for me they're not. In fact, I don't much care for anyone's fingers in my pits to begin with. But it sure as shit ain't because they're not soft and smooth.

I dunno. It seems to me like all companies like this create...make up...these stupid issues that can hammer away at the sheeple's self-esteem. Ya know?

You're just not good enough...face it...you're not even a member of the human race, and you won't EVER be (until you use our product, of course). And if you DO use our product, your life will be perfect!

And your armpits won't ever be calloused or crusty again.

Hallelujah!