Friday, June 04, 2010

I really needed to see this today

I've been really down in the dumps after getting the "official" word on Tuesday that I'll be out of a job on June 30. Actually, I'm afraid I'm sliding from "down in the dumps" to "clinical depression". I hate that I'm just so.....sad.

For almost four years, all I've heard is how important my job was...what a great service to the meaningful it was. And now?

Eh. Not so much.

I think that's what bothers me the most. That and the fact that I have no fucking clue as to what I'll do now. I do know that I'll never go back to hospital nursing. I not only don't want to, but physically, I'm pretty sure that my bum knee just won't handle the 8 or 12 hour shifts anymore.

Frankly, I'm not even sure I want to stay in nursing, at all.

I've been really tempted to pick up the cigarettes again, too. In fact, I want one...right now. But I won't. I've come too far to screw it up now.

This perked me up a little, too. It was just so pretty.

We had one of those pop up spring showers earlier this afternoon...while the sun was still shining, even...and the rainbow and the unusual cloud formation was (were?) the result.

Ah well. I'll snap out of it, I'm sure.



At 9:45 PM , Blogger Rixblix said...

It's a real pisser for those of us who choose to serve the underserved. I'm not 100% secure in my position and many of my peers in alternative education have been given walking papers. What about nursing education? School Nurse? The work you do/did as a public health nurse (at least that's what I've always assumed you do) is vital. Don't for one second think it's no or that the current crisis will last. We need you. Think of this as a hiatus. Like network television. You've just gone to the cable networks for the summer

At 8:56 AM , Blogger Amy Talcott said...

Take some time to mourn the loss of your job. Eat too much, drink too much, smoke too much, whatever. You earned it. It's part of the process. But then, dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Wake up one morning and realize that you've been given an opportunity to do something different - whatever that is. Then go find it. You will. I did. And I still am. The growth you will experience during this difficult time will make you so much stronger and you will be amazed at the person that you never even knew you were.

At 8:07 PM , Blogger Billy Dennis said...

Dang. Sorry to hear this news.

At 10:04 PM , Anonymous Bou said...

I agree with what your other readers put. You're allowed to grieve and should. Good Lord, this sucks so much.

I don't know if Ziggy is mobile or not, but I have a friend who's mother got sick of it all and became a traveling nurse. She and her husband (also a nurse) just travel where needed and work. They make good money and love it as they're traveling.

Another friend of mine became a private nurse to a gentleman who could no longer live alone. Now she's fully entrenched and people know what she does. She is out of work every time one of her client's die, but it's easy on her back, she really has come to love the people she cares for, and it's a good living.

I just have a feeling that you'll find your way through the weeds.

I'm so sorry.

At 10:13 PM , Blogger Pammy said...

Rix, thanks for your comment. And your assumption is right.

Amy, mourning is exactly what it feels like. I hadn't thought of it in those terms before.

Thanks, Billy.

Bou, Ziggy is still pretty much firmly entrenched at his least for another few traveling really isn't an option.

Thanks, everyone!

At 11:38 PM , Blogger Nate said...

You'll be fine. Take pleasure in those views and the critters that visit. Something will come along.


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