My eyes hurt
You look to be in your late 70's/early 80's, though I'm not a very good judge of age. You look to be in pretty good shape for an old guy. You're not obese, but you're not one of those old, ropy-looking guys, either.
You obviously try to take care of yourself because I see you swimming laps at the pool nearly every time I go.
You more than likely served our country proudly in the Phillipines or perhaps in France or England...you might've even been one of the lucky ones who survived Omaha Beach or Normandy. If you're younger than I think, it might've been Korea.
You probably have a lovely wife, whom you've been married to for over 50 years and you might have a grandchild or two.
In other words, you look like a perfectly nice, fairly well-maintained old gentleman. As such, I suppose you're entitled to wear pretty much whatever pleases you.
But, for the love of gawd, man....if you feel that you must wear a Speedo, could you try to do a little...ah...manscaping on the old, gray pubes?
A fellow swimmer
If he'd draw a smiley-face on the crotch of his Speedos, he'd look exactly like Chester B. Arthur.
Ya know...there are some things that just sear themselved onto your ole retinas and ya can't ever get rid of the image.