Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I vant to suuuuuuck your......


Hey. Getcher mind outa the gutter.

This is pretty much spot-on. I'm not sure how my love of all things garlic would work with the whole vampire thing, though.

You Are A Vampire

You have a real thirst for bliss, and you consider yourself a true hedonist.
And you're not afraid to walk alone in life, if it means getting what you truly crave.
You truly enjoy entrancing people. Not to mention the ensuing pleasures of the flesh.
Your tastes have been called decadent and bizarre. You usually give in to your temptations, no matter how primal

Your greatest power: Your flawless ability to seduce and charm

Your greatest weakness: Human flesh

You play well with: Werewolves

Swiped from
  • Leslie

  • Happy Halloweeeeeeeennnnnn!

    Sunday, October 21, 2007

    Happy Birthday to me

    Don't know what's goin on. Don't feel like bloggin. Don't have much to say and even if I did, it's like....who gives a shit, ya know?
    I'm not depressed. I feel pretty good, in fact. Better than I have in a while. And I had an absolutely glorious day today.

    Here I’m singin’ happy birthday
    Better think about the about the wish I make
    This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake
    Everyday’s a revolution
    Pull it together and it comes undone
    Just one more candle and a trip around the sun

    I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
    And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
    If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
    Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

    No you never see it comin’
    Always wind up wonderin’ where it went
    Only time will tell if it was time well spent
    It’s another revelation
    Celebrating what I should have done
    With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun

    I’m just hangin’ on while this old world keeps spinning
    And it’s good to know it’s out of my control
    If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all this livin’
    Is that it wouldn’t change a thing if I let go

    Yes I’ll make a resolution
    That I’ll never make another one
    Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
    Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun

    Thursday, October 11, 2007

    I'm funny...how?

    "You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

    I dunno. I'm not sure why, but people think I'm funny.

    Last time I visited my doc, she said, "You're funny."

    My boss thinks I'm funny...she even mentioned my "infectious sense of humor" in my yearly eval last week.

    I ran into Bergner's on my lunch hour today, and I was chattin with a saleswoman, and she said, "You're funny!". Which really suprised me. Some of those Bergner's saleswomen can be kinda...snooty.

    Tonight, on my way outa work, my boss's boss stopped me to ask if I'd had a chance to watch some boooooring training DVD he wanted me to critique. I told him yea. He asked me what I thought of it and I said, "Ya want the truth or do you want me to bullshit ya?" (hey...I'd already punched out...it was on MY time)He laughed and said, "You're funny."

    And the thing is, I'm not sure why people think I'm funny. It's not like I'm tryin to be funny. Most of the time, anyway. It's not like I lay awake at night and think up funny things to say. It's just how it comes outa my mouth, ya know?

    I just happen to think life, in general, is pretty funny. I mean, when ya consider the alternative...and it's just too short to take it so seriously.

    Oh, and the quote? From one of my most favorite movies...Goodfellas.

    Wednesday, October 10, 2007

    Oh, puhleeeeease......

    "Jena 6 situation", my ass.

    From a letter that our local NAACP leader, Don Jackson, is distributing.

    In case you haven’t heard, we have a Jena 6 situation right here in River City. We call it the Manual 22, representing 22 Manual students who were recently ticketed by the Peoria Police department for walking along a street with no sidewalks, and or crossing the street at a location other than a crosswalk. Rita Ali will fill you in on the details because she personally witness the events. Since this new ticketing “profiling” was directed only at students attending Manual and Woodruff (students issued $100 tickets) we believe this is disparate treatment based on race. As a community we must send a strong message that we are “sick and tired” of the PPD messing with our children.

    On Saturday, Oct. 13th, the Covenant Committee, King Celebration Committee and the NAACP will join together in a demonstration at the Peoria Police Department at 11:00am. We invite any other organizations who are “sick and tired” of police harassment in the A/A community to join with us.

    If you have any questions contact me or Rita Ali for more information.

    Don Jackson

    Information found
  • here
  • .

    As one who spends much of her working day driving the streets of Peoria, much of it right around both Woodruff and Manual High Schools, I can attest to the fact...no, it's not racism...it's a fact...that groups of African American kids walk IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, regardless of whether or not there's a sidewalk. They not only walk in the street, they hang in the middle of the street. They either downright refuse to move if you're trying to drive down that particular street, or they slooooowly saunter off to one side or another. If they feel like it.

    I've observed this countless times. In fact, I've turned around because they wouldn't move and I didn't feel like takin on a whole gang of kids, no matter what color they were. I might be dumb, but I ain't stupid.

    I've never seen a group of white kids do this. And like I said, I drive in a lotta neighborhoods around town. Granted, most of 'em are not exactly your suburban, white-collar type neighborhoods. Oh, fer shit's sake. Let's be honest. Most of the neighborhoods that I frequent are in the South end or the North Bluff. A lot of 'em aren't "nice" neighborhoods, ok?

    There's no "profiling" goin on with this. There's no racism, other than what Mr. Jackson is tryin to drum up. It's a FACT. It is what it is. Period.

    And that...the fact that he's tryin to garner some attention...just pisses me off to no end. There's real racism goin on out there, ok? If he can't find it, I can take him by the hand and show it to him. But to compare this situation to the Jena 6...it's just...well, it's beyond pandering. It's inciting.

    And it's wrong.

    Mr. Jackson, to paraphrase you, I am "sick and tired" of people like you...like Al Sharpton...slavering for media attention in the name of "racism". I'm sick and tired of people like you using the word racism as an excuse for every black person who does something wrong.

    "Oh, the poor, black boy can't help it that he murdered three people...but remember...HE'S a victim, too...of racism.

    Instead of trying to hang all of society's problems on the word racism, why don't you do something really meaningful...like tryin to teach things like personal responsibility or common sense or respect. If you don't understand those concepts, maybe you could stick to the simple things...like the difference between right and wrong, regardless of the color of your skin?

    Tuesday, October 09, 2007

    I called in sick

    Actually, I called in "falling apart". Because I am. Slowly. Piece by piece. Bit by bit.

    I feel like a zombie. Not because I was up most of the night, though there is that. Because I'm falling apart. Like one of those zombies in the movies...ya know? They take a step and an arm falls off. Another step - the nose. Another step - an ear.

    Which brings me to the reason I called in. I have an earache. A. fucking. earache.

    I'm damn near old enough to be classified a "senior citizen"...gag...and I have an earache. WTF?? What the hell's next? The measles? Chickenpox, maybe? I've never had 'em...I suppose that'll be next.

    It's always something. - Roseann Rosannadanna

    Wednesday, October 03, 2007

    Anyone noticed these
  • Dove deodorant
  • commercials?

    They want you to try the product and they tell you that you'll experience softer, smoother underarms in just five days!

    Now, my pits aren't my favorite place to stick my fingers. But on those occasions that I have felt my underarms...like when shavin...I haven't noticed that they're particularly calloused or crusty in the first damn place. And I've never even tried Dove deodorant.

    Isn't life just too damn short to be worryin about shit like softer, smoother armpits?

    Who the hell's gonna know that your pits are softer and smoother except you? I mean..it's not like one's underarms are high on the list of erogenous zones. Uh. At least for me they're not. In fact, I don't much care for anyone's fingers in my pits to begin with. But it sure as shit ain't because they're not soft and smooth.

    I dunno. It seems to me like all companies like this create...make up...these stupid issues that can hammer away at the sheeple's self-esteem. Ya know?

    You're just not good enough...face it...you're not even a member of the human race, and you won't EVER be (until you use our product, of course). And if you DO use our product, your life will be perfect!

    And your armpits won't ever be calloused or crusty again.


    Monday, October 01, 2007

    Points to ponder

    My mind is a scary place

    Last night, just before drifting off to sleep, this is the conversation I had in my head.

    Oh, and just to preface it a little, the reason why I started thinkin about fresh figs, was that I'd seen them piled with a slice of proscuitto and served as an appetizer on some show on the Food Network. Looked mighty yummy, too.

    The conversation:

    Wonder where you can buy fresh figs. I've never seen 'em around here.

    I've had figs from a box. Those are dried figs. And there are figs in Fig Newtons. I'm sure those are dried, too.

    Ok, if fresh figs are called figs and dried figs are called figs, then why are dried (or cooked) plums called prunes?

    And dates. Dates are dried, though I'm sure they grow fresh...on date trees. I think?

    And why are dried apricots called dried apricots, but dried purple grapes are called raisins?

    And why are dried green grapes called currants and not raisins? They're still grapes. Even though they're green.

    And why do they call 'em sun-dried tomatoes? I mean, I suppose 200 years ago, the Italians dried their tomatoes in the sun. But I'm pretty sure that wouldn't fly with the FDA nowdays. I'm pretty sure all the prepackaged ones are dried in ovens. Why don't they call 'em oven-dried tomatoes?

    Wonder where you can buy fresh figs?