Saturday, September 20, 2008

I'll skip the double entendres and sexual metaphors


We lost an inch!

Of water, that is.

The river crested sometime late yesterday afternoon and it's on it's way down.

As if all the worry and inconvenience wasn't enough, the rising water has had another, decidedly unpleasant side effect. Ever thought about where all the creepie crawlies go during a flood? Ya know? Those icky things that crawl around on the ground and usually only come out in the night?

Well, I'll tell ya...they seek higher, drier ground.

I went to bed last night at about 11. Da Zigster, having injured himself whilst doing some flood management, was asleep in the recliner, heating pad wrapped firmly around his left arm. So I left him there.

Somewhere around 12:30, I was shocked out of a sound sleep by the feel of somethin crawlin on my face. Not sure if I was dreamin or not, I thought it was just a stray strand of hair. I brushed it aside, rolled over and headed back into slumberland.

A few minutes later, I was most assured it wasn't a dream when I felt that same....something...crawl across my chest.

Holy fuckin shit!!

I bolted upright, slappin furiously at my chest and leaped outa bed. (Not a pretty sight, I assure you.) I switched on the bedside light just in time to see a fuckin shiny, black two inch long centipede!! scurry across my side of the bed, down the side of the mattress and disappear...somewhere.

As I stood there, eyeballs buggin outa my head, I noticed a burning itch (no snarky comments, please) on my left forearm.

Did you know centipedes bite? Oh, sure...the great big African bastards that ya see on the Discovery Channel. But their smaller cousins? They do.

Thankfully, it didn't seem to be really poisonous. It just swelled a little and burned/itched like hell for a few minutes. Today, you can barely see it.

Needless to say, there I was, strippin the bed at 1 am, tryin to find that sneaky bastard, but I never did. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless. Every time I'd feel anything, I was sure it was him...back to kill me in my sleep. I finally got back up and was up until 5:30 or so.

By that time, I didn't much care if a fuckin snake was in bed with me. Hell, I've had snakes in bed with me before. (Ok, so I hadda sneak one double entendre in there.) heh

Just as long as he stayed on his own side of the bed.


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