A wicked little meme

I'm with

El Capitan

on this one...just kill me now...'cause I'd rather die than answer some of these. Not necessarily because they're hard to answer...because I might learn a little more about myself than I really wanna know. heh

Would you rather:

1. Watch a porno with your parents OR starring your parents?

My parents slept in separate bedrooms. And I'm pretty sure that it was the ole "east is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet" kinda thing goin on in their relationship as far as sex was concerned. In fact, even though I'm an agnostic, I think I just might believe in immaculate conception...either that or I was found under a rock, somewhere. I rarely saw ANY kind of affection shown between the two of them. To believe that they actually had sex...if only ONCE...kind of boggles my mind.

So, as bad as I hate to admit it...and as much as it might scar me for life...I think I'd hafta say I'd rather see a porno starring my parents. Like any good agnostic, I hafta SEE to BELIEVE.

2. Lick the handle on a public restroom toilet OR eat a wad of toilet paper from the stall floor?

Um. "I'll take licking for two hundred, Alex." If I don't swallow, it's not really sex, is it?

3. Be MC Hammer OR Vanilla Ice?

Gimme some baggy pants and paint my face, honey. At least MC wasn't tryin to be something he's not. There's nothin worse than a white boy tryin to get jiggy wit' it.

4. Be able to fly OR read people's minds?

Since I won't even consider flying IN a plane, I think it's safe to say that I wouldn't consider flying without one. Just call me the Great Karnak.

5. Have whatever you want for one year then die OR be paralyzed for life?

Ahhh...THERE'S a question. There are varying degrees of "paralyzed". Para? That might be tolerable. Quad? Possible. Christopher Reeve? Gimme lotsa that morphine, honey and fluff my pillows. See ya on the flip side.

6. Have a permanent smile OR a permanent blank stare?

I'd much rather have people wonder what I was up to with all the smiling all the time than to think I was a mouth-breather who picks my nose and barely understands English. Hand me my toothbrush.

7. Be burned alive OR drown?

Good gawd. This just gets better and better, doesn't it? I choose dying in my sleep at the age of 102 after just having multiple orgasms with my 34 year old lover.

8. Be known worldwide as a racist OR a child molestor?

I'm with El on this one. Wonder if my white sheets are clean?

9. Eat three pounds of hair OR drink a gallon of shampoo?

HAIR? In my MOUTH?? Good gawd! Nothin can give me the gags faster than that stray pub....uh...hair in my mouth. The good thing about choosing shampoo (if there even IS a good thing) is that you'd have a really clean colon in a day or two.

10. Be God OR the devil?

I don't even hafta think about this one. Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere. I go everywhere.