Don't mind me...I'm self-medicating

Ok, the truth of the matter is, I'm about 3/4 shitfaced. But only because it's an experiment...not because I like it. Even though I kinda do.

See, I can't sleep. Well, I can sleep...sorta...but it's....disturbed. I have vivid, bizarre dreams. I wake up fifteen times during the night. I have to pee two or three times a night and I wake up in the morning feeling like I've just done ten rounds with Mike Tyson....and lost. Badly. Except I still have both ears.

Though I've had periodic sleep problems for the last year and a half or so, this past week has been particularly difficult. It's been so difficult that I've only been out of the apartment once...all week...until tonight. I've felt like total and complete ass...afraid to drive, even. Not sick, exactly. Just bad. Out of it. Dopey. I know it's because I'm not sleeping.

So tonight, Zig suggested we run up to the River Beach Pub to have some supper and listen to Mike and his guitar. Maybe the fresh air would do me some good. It was nice to get out (with somebody else driving) and it was absolutely gorgeous sitting out on the deck, watching the river. I mean, what can be bad, right? It was one of those perfect evenings...about 80 degrees, no bugs, the beer was cold, the food was good as usual and the music was absolutely....mellow. A little bit of Woody Guthrie; a little bit of The Eagles; The Beatles; Peter, Paul and Mary...it was just nice, ya know?

So I decide that maybe if I get good and soused, I can sleep. Oh, I know booze actually disrupts your sleep...ya don't go into REM, so ya don't get really rested. That's why ya feel like you've been dragged through a knothole backwards after a big drunk. Even if ya don't feel particularly hung over, ya feel really tired. But, see...during REM is when I have the problems. So I'm hoping if I disturb that...well...at least I can get some kind of sleep.

We'll see.

It's kinda funny, really. Sleep wasn't something I've ever had a problem with. I've worked every shift there is and never had problems sleeping...not like this, anyway. It really kinda pisses me off...something that should be so freakin simple has become such a big problem...has affected my whole damn life the way it has.

I'm tellin ya...I absolutely hate goin to the doc. I put it off until I have no other option. But this appointment I have with the neurologist can't come too soon. I want this shit fixed. NOW.

Now, 'scuse me. I'm gonna get another beer.