Luuucy...you gots some 'splainin to do

Actually, I'd like it explained to me, too.

From

Phil Luciano's column

in today's PJStar:

Bill Donahue Jr. could handle the previous bad neighbors, like the drug dealers and the speeders.
But he doesn't know how to stop the next-door residents from their particularly disgusting habit:

Dumping buckets and bags of human waste in their back yard.

I seem to recall a little blurb in the paper a couple months ago about a local woman getting a ticket for throwing a cigarette butt out of her car window...in front of a local gendarme. If I'm remembering right, the fine was something like $125.

We've got people screeching and caterwauling about litter, about the smell from ADM, about waste in the Illinois River. Gawd help ya if you throw a cigarette butt out your car window.
But evidently, throwing your poop in the backyard is perfectly acceptable.

The Peoria City/County Health Department has been investigating the waste issue. The agency's director of environmental health, Don Cavi, says he is not sure of the root of the waste-dumping, only that the house doesn't have "proper plumbing." Cavi says he has sent notices to the residence demanding that the problem be fixed.

"At this point, we're trying to get some cooperation," Cavi says.

If that doesn't work, the agency could deem the house unfit for occupation.

Matt Wahl, director of planning and zoning, says his office already has issued a warning to the address demanding a cleanup of the junk. If the trash remains there for a few more days, the county will issue a notice ordering the property owner to appear before a hearing officer.

Depending on what happens at the hearing, the hearing officer could ask the state's attorney's office to cite the property owner for a litter violation, which can go as high as $500 a day.

Uh..."...Don Cavi, says he is not sure of the root of the waste-dumping..."?

Now, I'm no rocket scientist. But as dumb as I am, I CAN figure out the "root of the waste-dumping". THEY DON'T HAVE A WORKING TOILET, SO THEY SHIT IN BUCKETS AND DUMP IT OUT THEIR BACK DOOR. Geeezus, people. GET A CLUE. And I'm pretty sure that if they can't afford to fix their damn toilet, they can't pay a $500 a day fine. So what...they throw 'em in jail? Then who's gonna clean up their mess?

It kills me. The Sheriff's department, the County Health Department and the damn Planning and Zoning office are all aware of the problem...and they're probably all shuffling papers back and forth and having meetings and trying to figure out just how the hell to handle this.

I have a little suggestion. Not that anyone would pay attention to me...I'm not important. But I think Sheriff McCoy oughta pay a little visit to Mr. Swearingen and Ms. Passwater (how ironic..."Passwater"), the feces-flinging scum. He oughta bring along a couple shovels, some garbage bags and a big gun. And he oughta stand there, gun in hand if need be, and make 'em fix their damn toilet and CLEAN UP THEIR DISGUSTING MESS.

Problem solved.