Friday, March 03, 2006

And THIS one didn't even hurt!



Yup. I fell again.

Most of you have read of my spectacular falls and tumbles. Heck, my blog stories about my lack of grace even got me a spot on a TLC special.

That's not the kinda 'fall' I'm talkin about now, though.

I finally fell off that damn 'diet plateau' I've been on for...oh...I dunno...the last three or four months, at least. Seems like forever.

As some of you might remember, I started a...(shudder)...diet...last year. OVER a year ago, actually. It was a year in February. I don't post a lot about it because...well...frankly, it's boring. Who the hell cares about my damn diet?

But you'll just hafta grin and bear it. Or go read something else. I'm really writing this particular post for me. So I can look back at it. So I have a reference point. I'd already HAVE a reference point if I hadn't gotten into a big snit and deleted the whole blog a couple months ago. But, I digress.

This dieting crap is HARD. I know...those of you who've been born lucky enough to have never had a problem with weight are saying, "What's so damn hard about it? Stop poking food into your mouth!"

To those kinda people I say, "Screw you." You have no idea just how hard it is, so until YOU'RE in the same position, keep your damn mouth shut. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that.

Almost everything about this low carb diet is hard. Shopping. Actually paying attention to the labels, for once. No more 'fast food'. No more 'prepared' items. Buying only fresh or frozen veggies and figuring out different ways to prepare 'em. No potatoes or bread products...ever. Essentially NOTHING with flour in it. Very few gravies or sauces.

For someone who was raised pretty much on meat and potatoes, meal prep ain't exactly a party, either. I mean, when I was growing up, a meal consisted of a meat, potatoes or pasta and a veggie or two and bread. There were always variations, of course. Both my parents were great cooks and we ate reasonably 'healthy', really. Lots of fresh veggies from the garden and back then, there just wasn't much in the way of 'prepared' stuff. Very few 'convenience' foods. But it was pretty much ingrained in me as to what consisted 'a meal' and I've always cooked pretty much the same way.
Til now.

I have no problem coming up with a meat dish, but the sides? Well...it's HARD not using potatoes or pasta. Really. It's hard not using gravies or sauces. It's hard not to fall back into that habit of using convenience foods. It takes waaaay more time, too. It takes a lot longer to wash, chop up and cook fresh vegetables than it does to open a can. If I was by myself, I could probably just live on meat...nothing else. But I feel like I need to at least make an attempt to feed Ziggy right.

It's expensive. Because it's low carb, there's LOTS of meat. Meat is expensive.

Probably the absolute hardest part to deal with is the fact that I just plain love food. And I love to cook. Usually. Thankfully, I DO love my meat. That's why I chose this particular diet. It seemed like one that I could sink my teeth into, pun very much intended.

That's not to say I don't cheat. Yea, I cheat, ok? I decided a year ago when I started this that there was just no way I could do it WITHOUT cheating once in a while, so I might as well accept that it was gonna take me longer to do it. And it has. Otherwise, I don't suppose it'd have taken me a whole damn YEAR to lose 45 pounds. But when I do cheat, I try not to go overboard and I jump right back at it. That's helped too. I think 'allowing' myself to cheat has been what's kept me ON the diet. I mean, it's been a YEAR. I've never stuck with ANY diet as long as I have this one. Ever.

And when I stop and think that it's taken me LOTS of years to pack all this lard on..well...I accept the fact that it's just not gonna fall off in a couple a weeks.
I'm an 'instant gratification' kinda gal. But this definitely ain't an instant gratification kinda thing.

Another thing that has been really hard is the whole clothing situation. I've bought a few new things, but I hate to really buy a lot until I see just exactly where I'm going with this. I'm down about four sizes, which is great. But do I buy stuff that fits NOW or do I get something smaller in hopes that I'll eventually fit into it? Oh...and the whole 'fitting' thing is just...difficult. It's really ironic that now that I can wear something that might be construed as 'sexy', I've got all this excess....skin...to do something with. Everything's either sagging or drooping or all wrinkly. And I ain't talkin about the clothes, here. "Old" skin just ain't as resiliant as "young" skin.

As far as exercising goes...well...I'm sure my results would have been a LOT better if I'd have gotten into some kinda exercise routine. But I didn't. It's hard to push yourself to exercise when you just don't feel good. And though I've felt better in the last six months or so than I have in a loooong time, I'm still not quite right. I definitely need work in the exercise area, but I hate the idea of joining a gym. I think walking just for the sake of walking is boring. I DID join the Y and started swimming, which I love, but haven't been for several months. But I DO need to get out and MOVE. I know that. I'm workin on it.

At any rate, 45 down, 35 more to go. 55 would be nice...but I'm not gonna be greedy. I figure if I look at it this way, I'm well over my half-way mark, right?

Ooooo DAMN! OVER HALF-WAY! I hadn't thought about THAT before!

YaHOOOOOO!

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