Wednesday, May 06, 2009

It's different this time

I mean it.

On April 14, I posted about yet another attempt to
  • lose the lard

  • My current attempt isn't so much about not being fat anymore. It's about feeling better and not developing a disease that could eventually lead to me gradually losing bits and pieces of my precious self. I've grown pretty fond of my ickle-bickle toes...not to mention my life.

    So I'm down 10 pounds. And I definitely feel better.

    Fellow blogger,
  • Jen
  • made a comment that's kind of stuck in my mind.
    Somewhere I read "the difference between the fat and the thin is that the thin SOMETIMES give into cravings."

    Now, I don't buy into all the self-analysis crap (didja ever notice that the first part of the word analysis is anal?) when it comes to being fat.

    I'm not an "emotional eater"...I don't eat any more when I'm sad than I do when I'm happy. I haven't stayed fat for all these years because of any kind of "self-protection mechanism". I wasn't abused as a child, sexually or otherwise.
    I've never had much of a problem getting boyfriends...hell, I've been married three times. I've done pretty much anything I wanted to with my life and have never felt like being fat was holding me back...from anything.

    Well, except for wearing a bikini. Believe it or not, there are some things that I just won't do.

    And I certainly don't feel like there's anything lacking in my life. Except for that million bucks I haven't won in the lottery yet.

    I'm fat because I like food and usually don't know when to stop. Period.

    Aaaanyway, simple as it was, Jen's comment was the closest thing I've had to an a-ha! moment.

    So the last couple-three weeks has been all about occasionally giving in to those cravings. And maybe more importantly, not beating myself up over doing so.

    I'm still doing the caveman thing. Mostly meat, fish and fresh or frozen veggies. Salads. The occasional potato. Popcorn for snacking. "Real" food. Food that you can recognize as coming from the earth...growing or living.

    I've tried to eliminate as much processed crap as I can, along with refined flour products. I'm convinced that things like that are not only what make me fat, but what make me feel bad....sluggish and bloaty and just...bad. And food that, no doubt, was the cause of my higher-than-normal blood glucose levels.

    But yea...the occasional cheezy-poof or two has wandered it's way into my mouth.

    But then I stop and think...I haven't noticed a cheezy-poof plant growing anywhere in the I don't eat the whole bag.

    Now that I'm feeling better, I think it's time for that
  • bicycle
  • that I didn't get for Christmas.

    Yea, I know. I'll probably look like a circus bear, ridin a tricycle.

    But trust's better than seein me in a bikini.


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