Thursday, April 30, 2009

Drain bamage

Good gawd. Who thinks these things up? And how do I get in on the action?

I just finished up 16 hours at one of those mandatory "seminars".

You know the ones...the ones with the nifty little folder just loaded with all kinds of shit that you'll 86 just as soon as you've completed the course.

The ones with the "learning modules" (what the fuck is a learning module, anyway?)and the incredibly un-creative power point presentations with impossible-to-decipher graphics and charts.

The ones that, not only encourage, but expect you to make a complete fool of yourself by role playing.

The ones that provide a "lunch" of dry sandwiches, teeny bags of chips, pop and deli cookies...and not a freakin fresh vegetable to be found.

The ones that take two days to say what could have been covered in about 4 hours...or less...if they'd just get to the point and not clutter up the whole bloody thing with trendy catch-phrases and the newest double-speak.

The ones that make you sit next to some stranger that lets farts bad enough to strip the finish off a Corvette. (Good keeerist, man...what the hell does your wife feed you, anyway?)

The ones that, on completion, give you a spiffy little "diploma", a handshake and applause...just like a Harvard graduation, fer chrissake.

And why are things like this so fuckin exhausting? I mean, it's not like I went out and replaced 3 miles of railroad track with just a hammer and a screwdriver.

But it sure feels like it.


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