Saturday, May 02, 2009

Damn you, HGTV!

A couple months ago, I saw one of those
  • shade sails
  • on one of those "decorating" shows on HGTV, and I thought to myself, "Self, that's exactly what we need for our deck."

    Da Zigster thought it looked pretty perfect, too. We have a big umbrella for our table, but it just wasn't enough shade when the sun (remember that big, hot yellow thing in the sky that we haven't seen in weeks and weeks?) beat down on the deck. It was supposed to be easy-peasy to put up, too.

    I figured it'd take us a couple hours and then we'd be sittin on our perfectly shaded deck, sippin gin and tonics, watchin the river go by.

    As we all know, though...picturing somethin in your head isn't exactly how it usually turns out.

    Soooo, after one internet order, one trip to the local hardware store, two "fights", three...count 'em...three trips to Lowe's and three or four rainy weekends, we finally have a little shade on on our much-loved deck.

    It's kinda hard for me to believe, but Ziggy and I actually had a couple of....ah...disagreements...over this little DIY project. We've been together now for damn near eight years, and this is the first time we've ever had anything close to an argument.

    And both of 'em happened in Lowe's. Frankly, he was bein a dick. The first disagreement happened because we separated, each of us to get a specific item. We were to meet back up at the checkout area. Well, there's more than one checkout area. He waited at the lumber end...I, on the other hand, waited at the "regular" end. Needless to say, we both waited a long damn time, cursing the other under our respective breaths.

    Well, gawddammit...he didn't specify which checkout.

    Today's argument started over a fuckin parkin place. I drove because he'd gotten hot and had a little...ah...refreshment whilst workin on the deck. He told me to park by the "exit" so he wouldn't hafta haul the 12' 2x4 clear through the store. Fine. I parked by the exit.

    But again...he failed to specify exactly which exit.

    And, of course, he waited until we were halfway across the parkin lot to voice his displeasure at the particular exit I'd chosen.


    So aaaanywho, he worked his little ass off when we got home and finished 'er up.

    At which point, what little sun that did appear today, disappeared behind the clouds, never to be seen again.


    After all that, I guess da Zigster deserves a little R & R.

    1 Coolaroo Sun Shade Sail - 100 bucks.
    1 trip to Geiger's - 20 bucks.
    3 trips to Lowe's - 50 bucks.

    Takin your husband's picture whilst snoring in the recliner after being an ass - Priceless.


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