Can you say "tense"?

Hopelessly, helplessly lost in the deepest, darkest depths of the South side of Peoria can, in no way, shape or form, be called a comfortable place to find oneself in, even on a bright, sunny day.

Especially if you're a hick from the sticks whose idea of "knowing her way around town" pretty much consists of knowing how to get around town on War Drive, University, Sheridan, Pioneer Parkway, Glen, Sterling, Main and Western.

I'm just sayin.

I need a half-dozen ibuprofen. And a massage.