What did us procrastinators DO before the internet?

We got smacked with late fees, tickets and other assorted and sundry fines, charges and general ass-chewins, that's what.

On my way home from the....(shudder)...grocery store, I was noticing license plates. I do that a lot. I like to try to figure out what kinda message people are trying to get across with their personalized plates. Sometimes, it's easy. 'CUB FAN', for instance. But I like the more...obscure...ones. Ones ya hafta think about.

Aaaanywho, at a stop light, I was lookin at the plates on the car ahead of me. Frankly, I don't even remember what the plate was. But I DID notice that the sticker expired 03/07. And I thought..."Oooo...March can be a cold, windy, rainy month. Kinda nasty to hafta go out and wipe the plate off and stick the new sticker on. (I know. My mind works in some pretty strange ways.) I'm soooo glad MINE expires......uh.....07/06. 07/31/06, to be exact. Let's see...that would be....IN ELEVEN FRIGGIN DAYS!"

Ooops.

So after gettin home and puttin the groceries away, I fired up the ole laptop and, in a matter of...oh, I dunno...5 minutes, tops...I had found the state's website and purchased my sticker. It'll be here in 5-10 days. No muss. No fuss. POOF! Done.

How cool is that? I mean, really?

Oh, I suppose those that have grown up with a computer in their lives don't appreciate it. I do. Because as a bonafide (my new 'favorite word', thanks to several viewings of "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?") 'old fart', I can remember when the same scenario would have turned out much differently.

It would have meant making a trip to the local driver's license facility. Depending on where you lived, that could mean a long drive and an even longer wait. It would have meant standing in line with the other rude, obnoxious procrastinators. When you finally got to the front of the line, you'd either be met with an "Out to Lunch" sign or a rude, obnoxious state employee. After much eye-rolling and being subjected to being treated like a dog with a behavior problem and a nasty case of the screaming squirts, your sticker would be bestowed upon you as if ole De'Shaniqua-ella there had worn her bejeweled, two inch nails to the quick by making it herself.

Soooo sorry to have bothered ya there, De'Shaniqua-ella. I understand that as a state employee, you have the Governor-given right to treat me the way you do and, that should I dare to complain you will, no doubt, accuse me of racism, be given a raise for your fine customer service and some kind of award for your tolerance.

(Okkkk...I KNOW they're not ALL like that. But the one I had the pleasure to encounter year before last WAS.)

So, yea. As a procrastinating old fart, I think it's pretty damn cool that I can sit in the comfort of my own home, stark nekkid if I wanna be, and buy my license plate sticker. Or renew my nursing license. Or bank. Or send mail without having to make a trip to the post office for stamps. Or go shopping. Or chat with friends.
Or order a pizzzzzzza.

And nary a De'Shaniqua-ella in sight.