"Housewifely"?

I just happened to realize that, in my previous post, I described some of the things I was doing this morning as "housewifely".

That might be descriptive, but it's not exactly correct. I don't happen to be a "wife", nor do I necessarily wish to be.

Therein lies part of my conundrum. Which sounds something like 'condom', but it's not the same thing. Trust me.

You'd think, after living with someone for five years, some of these conundrums would have been solved. But there are times when I still have a problem figuring out just exactly what I am...what to call myself when speaking to other people.

Several weeks ago, after a funeral, I was chatting with my first ex-husband's aunt (there...figure THAT one out), who had always been one of my favorite 'in-law-type' relatives. I hadn't seen her for a number of years, and while she knew I was divorced, she was asking about where I lived now...if I'd remarried...where I was working and so on.

I told her I was living in Peoria, wasn't married but was living with someone and no, I wasn't working. I jokingly added that I was a "kept" woman. She got a big kick out of that. I knew she would...that's why I said it.

But there are some people that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable saying that to.

So, what do I call myself?

I'm not a 'housewife', even though I don't work outside the home. I'm not a wife. Hmmmm...maybe "live-in housekeeper...with benefits"?

And even more puzzling...an even bigger conundrum...what do I call Ziggy?

Let's face it, the whole 'boyfriend/girlfriend' thing seems pretty darned silly, especially at our age. I feel just dopey introducing Zig as my "boyfriend".
I think it's different for guys, though. No matter how old they are, I think they secretly get a little kick out of saying "my girlfriend". Ya know? Like they're saying to all their married cronies, "Looky here, you poor married suckers! I got me a girlfriend."

"Significant other"? That sounds pretty dopey, too. Kinda...I dunno...stilted or formal. He IS 'significant', but 'other'? Other what? Half? My better half. I hate it when people say that. I don't think so. I hate it even worse when someone calls their...whatever..."old man" or "old lady", though.

"Yea, me and my old man decided to spiff up the doublewide a little, so we planted some purty flowers in that there old toilet that the old man brung home from the dump. Now we got the nicest yard in the whole trailer park!"

"Partner"? Nope. I was talking to someone who didn't know us about my 'partner' once and they thought I was a lesbian. Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against lesbians. I just don't happen to be one.

"Best friend"? Well, yea. But he's a lot more than that, too.

"Lover"? Uh huh. But a tad too much info for some, though I really don't mind sharing.

"Shack up"? I've described him as that before. But again, only to people who know me.

I dunno. Maybe I should rethink this whole 'old lady/old man' thing. It's not definitive...doesn't really say husband or wife...but the message is pretty clear.

On second thought...nah. I think I'll stick with "shack up".

Sounds....classier.