Mad dogs and Englishmen - Part Deux

The 'post photo' part of Blogger seems to have a fart crossways this afternoon, so I'll try to post the rest of the photos in a Part Tres.

"Act natural. Be yourself."

Uh huh. Act natural and be yourself. But while you're doing that, look at me, not the camera. No, don't look at me, look at the camera. Don't look at me OR the camera. Use your hands...but don't use your hands up near the mic. Don't let the passing traffic, groups of interns, gawkers, cranes, trains, helicopters or car alarms distract you. Try not to shiver so uncontrollably. Tell me the story again...and again...and again. Now, tell it this way. Add this. Don't say that. Move up further on the seat. Fake a fall. (WTF? How do you 'fake' a fall?) Lie on your back on this luggage rack that we've tried to pad for your comfort (it WASN'T) and thrash your feet in the air. Push the bed faster. Hold your hands just here. No, not that way..this way. Do it again.

And again.

And again.

"Be yourself." My ass.

The day didn't start off well. The plan was to meet at the location at around 2:30. Irene, the producer called at about 10:30, told me the plans had changed a bit, they were on their way to the location now (thank Amy for me, Jason...hehe) and wanted to know if WE could come now. Uh. NOW. I hadn't even finished my first cup of coffee yet! Do these people have ANY idea of what I'm like without my coffee? Evidently not.

Ever the accomodating, easygoing person, I replied...HELL NO. Ok, what I said was 'give us an hour or so'.

Fast forward. (And I do mean fast) We get to the nice, warm location, only to discover that Irene, the producer, would like to do the first interview....outside.

"It's such a beautiful day and I've got the perfect location." Yea, Irene. It was beautiful. The sun was brightly shining. It was a balmy 36 degrees with 20 mile an hour wind gusts. And the 'perfect' location? Planted right in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary. So help me gawd. I'm suprised it didn't fall over on my head out of pure outrage.

I have never been so fucking cold in my life. Not ever. In fact, I shivered so hard that muscles that I didn't know I had hurt today.

Keep in mind, I had NO coat. Even if I did, I couldn't have worn it. In between takes, someone would shuck off their coat and wrap me in it and Lulu fetched me hot Starbuck's. Zig finally remembered he had a blanket in the trunk of the car, so we used that, too. None of it helped.

So if any of you actually see me on this program, pay close attention to the outdoor 'interview' shots. It might look like a gorgeous, sunny day...but just remember...it wasn't. It was soooo cold that Tim had to change batteries on the camera twice and the remote mic once. Evidently, the cold drains 'em fast.

Tell me about it.

The rest of the looooong day went pretty much the same way. Except we were inside, thank gawd. Originally, the plan was that the shoot would take 'a couple hours'. Try eight. EIGHT HOURS. I guess those Brits have a different concept of time than we do.

And the thing is, eight hours of filming will probably wind up as a 10 minute (if that) segment. I really can't wait to see how they cut and piece it all together. I felt totally jerky and awkward and clumsy...out of my element...distracted and discombobulated. I can't wait to see how they handle THAT.

And the stories...well, let's just say a LOT of 'artistic license' was taken with both of 'em. I, being the stickler I am for details (ahem), had a problem with that. I kept trying to look at it from a nurse's perspective...the IV was wrong...we wouldn't do it this way...we'd do it THAT way...it didn't happen like that, it happened like this. I was trying for at least a semblance of 'reality' and Irene was trying for overblown 'funny'.

We butted heads a few times over stuff like that, but I finally realized that Irene was the expert at this...not me...and just went with it. So, for any of your medical-type peeps out there...I KNOW some things weren't 'right', ok? It wasn't meant to be 'Life in the ER'. It was meant more to be...I dunno...a scene from 'I Love Lucy' where Lucy plays a nurse.

I thought I might've had a teeny concept of what it takes to produce a tv show or movie, I can honestly say I had NO idea of the hard work involved by everyone. I mean hard, physical work.

I've gotta say, though...the whole crew was just...bloody brilliant. (Picked that up pretty fast, too...heh..gawd, but I looove those British accents) Friendly and patient and funny and kind. They all were. I can't say enough good things about 'em. Lulu, the production assistant, rounded up three lovely women from the

Peoria Players

, a local theatre group, to be 'extras'. They were just awesome, as well. I'd mention their names, but frankly, I can't remember 'em. Too many other things to remember.

Like "being myself".

And, Ziggy...whatta man. He took the day off to be my moral support, as well as to be an extra. Bless his heart. He spent nearly ALL day sitting in the lounge, cooling his heels. But when his time came, he was an ACTOR. He did his 'speaking part' perfectly. He EMOTED. He SPARKLED.

And when he did his 'dying' scene...well...it took my breath away. Mostly because he forgot his deodorant. hehehe (Hey...we were RUSHED...he usually smells awesome) But, he just did it SO well. He lived the part. He didn't bat an eye. He didn't make a peep. He didn't crack a smile once.
But, I guess he's had a lotta practice checkin out the insides of his eyelids... whilst snoozing on the sofa. (I love you, honey. Thank you for doing this for me.)

All in all, I'd say it was......an experience. Not one that I EVER wish to repeat again, but it was an experience.

Airtime? Sometime in May. As soon as I know, you'll know.