Mad dogs and Englishmen - Part One

L to R - Tim, cameraman extraordinaire; Miz Thang, myself (the 'mad dog'); soundman Brian; producer Irene and in the chair is the lovely, fuscia-haired Louise, aka Lulu, the production assistant...which means general fixer-upper, arranger and gofer.

I'm so bloody tired right now...I can't even begin to tell you. (How'dja like the 'bloody'? I pick up accents quick.) Today ranked right up there at the top of my list of "Days That Were 36 Hours Long".

It's past midnight and I've been to bed once, but think I'm in the process of my 'second wind'...something I wish I'd have gotten around...oh...4 pm or so, and my brain refuses to shut down so I can sleep. Soooo, I figured I'd get back up and begin to tell you about my day. I might finish. I might not. If I don't, not to worry. The rest will follow shortly.

I'd like to begin by saying that I learned something about myself today. I never have been, never will and never want to be an actress. Ever. I'll never underestimate the expertise of a good actress again.

I was soooo bad....I sucked major suckage. Suckage personified.

Of course, all the crazy Englishmen declared me 'brilliant'. But I know better. They were just tellin me that so I wouldn't go into the bathroom and attempt to flush my head down the toilet. Believe me...I was tempted on more than one occasion.


Brian, Irene and Tim "set up" a shot.

And, before I go any further...I know you're all anxious to know...no...I did not commit any major faux pas. I did not fall down. I did not pee my pants.

Notice...I said major faux pas. I did however, keep forgetting about that little black box that was attached to me. The little thing that recorded every word I spoke, every sigh I sighed, every profanity I uttered under my breath. The...uh...remote mic.

Verbatim: "Ooooo, look! It looks like Tim's peeing on the Virgin Mary!"
He wasn't really. He was doing...well...whatever cameramen do. He just happened to be doing it right in front of a large statue of said virgin...with his legs slightly splayed apart. Honest ta gawd...from behind, it looked like he was takin a whiz.

From brain to mouth in an instant.

I did, however, remember to have Brian unhook me when I made a trip to the little girl's room. Thank gawd.

Luckily...oh, gawd...LUCKILY...I caught myself before I did it again. Except this time, it would have been a capital-letter MAJOR faux pas.


Ziggy got in on the action, as well. That's him...in bed...playing a dying man.

At one point, I was to lean down and tell my "patient" (Ziggy) to 'go into the light'. He was doing such a fine job of not laughing (HE, on the other hand, is a swell actor...really), that I thought I'd whisper a little something in his ear to shake his composure a bit. I leaned down and opened my mouth to say, "Hey, baby...want me to tell you what I'm gonna do to you when we get home?" Actually, it was something far worse than that. Use your imagination.

At that very instant, I remembered that little black box in my pocket. The one that was attached to the cord that ran up inside my shirt...that was attached to the tiny mic clipped to my shirt collar...that was remotely attached to Brian's and Tim's ears.

My mouth clapped shut so fast...I swear you could hear my teeth clack together.

MAJOR faux pas averted.

I'll end 'Part One' by saying that my favorite local tv station didn't show up like they were supposed to. Don't know what happened there...they were all gung ho about it... but they're no longer my favorite tv station. The

PJStar

DID show up, however. It's still my favorite newspaper.

Dana, the reporter, said that hopefully, the story would run in tomorrow's (Thursday) paper, but it was so late when she finally got to talk to me, it might be held until Friday.

I'll go ahead and post this and give you rubberneckers something to read during your morning blog rounds. Part Two (with more photos!) will probably show up ahead of Part One...because I'm too lazy to change the times around.


Discussing the next scene...or just bullshittin. A lotta both went on.