Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?

I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?

I have no other excuse.

Though there are some that don't like to publicly admit it, and others who simply refuse to accept the fact, we all make stupid mistakes. We ALL do things that, when thought about later, makes us say to ourselves, "What the fuck was I thinking?"

There are also those of us who act before thinking....as in even before that first synapse hits it's pre-destined location. A knee-jerk reaction, if you will.

And then there are a rare few for whom which BOTH of those human conditions seem to override any semblence of intelligence...of normalcy.

Like me.

I seem to have been....blessed...(ahem) with an overabundance of both qualities. I'm extremely impulsive and, believe it or not, I've been known to make a stupid blunder or two...or twenty.

And, it's funny. I've always kinda prided myself on the fact that I'm impulsive in a way that almost always results in a good outcome. I've prided myself on the fact that I let my heart rule my head, even though I've always considered myself a pragmatic person. (THERE'S one for ya to figure out, Dr. Freud)

I suppose that's why I continue to be soooo impulsive. It's always worked for me. By now, it's become a conditioned response.
Impulsivity = good results. Kinda like Pavlov's dogs...slobber = treat.

Unfortunately, problems arise when I combine that on which I've usually prided myself, with a big blunder...a blunder of astronomical proportions. A sort of harmonic convergence of stupidity and impulsivity. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often.

My harmonics converged last night and I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.



Hey...there's a GOOD reason why this picture has become my 'signature'.

My deleting the blog was a knee-jerk reaction which I almost immediately regretted. In fact, the regret was so immediate that I quickly created another Lollygaggin...just so no one else could take the name. Just...in case.

Once in a while, those synapses DO go where they're supposed to.

Just who in the hell do I think I'm kidding, here? I can no more stop blogging, anymore than I can stop.....making stupid mistakes. It's all about how I handle those mistakes that makes the difference. Hopefully, I can do it with as much grace and pride as I can muster.

So don't take me off your blogrolls just yet. It ain't over til the fat lady sings....and gawd knows...I'm a piss-poor singer.

I won't bore you with the details, other than to say that someone who's very dear to me was hurt and I very much regret that.

But what I won't do, is make excuses. What I won't do is try to defend the choices I've made. What I won't do, is let anyone dictate to me how I should live my life. What I won't do, is to let other people's judgment of me color the way I feel about myself and my life. What I won't do, is let another anonymous, ball-less whackjob hurt someone that I love so much.

And, what I absolutely, positively refuse to do is crawl in a hole and hide.