Monday, July 17, 2006

Where do I start?

Do I tell y'all about how my diet was blown to smithereens by four days of over-indulging? Believe it or not, it IS possible to gain five pounds in four days by eating two gigantic steaks, two humongous baked potatoes with 'the works', a couple of hamburgers, corn on the cob, a bratwurst, pizza, shrimp cocktail, hot wings, a couple of enormous breakfasts, enough 'snacks' to fill a 50 gallon barrel and uncounted cans of beer. Whoda thunkit??
Yea, I know. I swore I'd never drink beer again. I'm suuuuuch a liar.

I suppose I should be grateful that I didn't gain ten.

Do I tell y'all about me...fat ME...running waaaaaaaay down a mid-calf-to- knee-deep area of the VERY rocky/slippery-bottomed Meramac River, chasing after an escaped camp chair, two float/lounge things AND our camera? And actually catching the damn things and dragging them all back against the rushing current? Well...all of 'em except one of the (brandfuckingnew) floats and the camera. Yea. That's why there's no photos. (Fuck! No, DOUBLE FUCK!) Well, hell. The good news is that I didn't fall down...not ONCE! And I didn't have a heart attack, though I thought I just might.

Do I tell y'all about the group of us visiting a local watering hole in
  • Cuba
  • and being treated like royalty? I'd link to the bar, Loose Ends, but they evidently don't have a website. At any rate, they were just awesome to us. Do stop in if you're ever in the area.

    Do I tell y'all about how it was hotter than a three-peckered billy goat? It was, though not quite as hot as last year. Only about 98 with a heat index of 105. LAST year, it WAS 105 with a heat index of 117. Why, it was downright....uh....less-miserable...than last year.

    Do I tell y'all about sitting IN the crystal-clear, COOLCOOLCOOL water of the Meramac on said VERY humid 98 degree day, with the blue sky overhead, icy-cold beer in hand, Buffet on the boombox, great conversation with friends and the tantalizing aroma of a cheeseburger in paradise grillin nearby? (I actually took a pic of the cheeseburgers grillin with the intention of posting it with the title of "Cheeseburgers in Paradise". Unfortunately, the camera's prolly at the mouth of the Mississippi by now.) Anyway, can you say 'heaven'? It was. Even the chair/float/camera disaster wasn't enough to spoil it.

    I WILL tell ya...I've never seen a friendlier buncha people than those that raft or canoe down the Meramac. As we sat in the shallows, just chillin, the rafters and canoers goin by would call out "Hello!" or "How ya doin?" or "THAT looks relaxing!" or "How cool is THAT? Those old farts just hangin and drinkin BEER!" heh

    We might be old, but we ain't dead.

    Do I tell y'all about a buncha middle-aged, drunk people who get the bright idea to sit out on the huge front porch of the secluded house at midnight and get On second thought, there are stories that are better left untold.

    Like I said, we might be old, but we ain't dead.

    Do I tell y'all about laughing so hard that my face hurt...EVERY single day of the trip? Well...except for Sunday morning. I'm absolutely NOT a morning person and I hatehatehate being rushed around. Ahhhh...the smell of drama in the morning. Makes me feel....aliiiiiive.'da thought the damn house was on fire. This was at 8fucking30 and we didn't even have to be out until noon. Ah well. In a group of 20 people, there's bound to be an anal-retentive drill instructor or two in the bunch. It wasn't enough to ruin the previous three just wasn't a very pleasant way to end such a nice weekend. Kinda left me with a bad taste in my mouth about next year, though.

    Other than the Sunday morning Chinese fire drill thing, it was a blast. But if we ever go again, I'm still thinkin that stayin in a motel might be a better option.

    I can at least sit and have my coffee in peace. And I'm damn sure to be able to have a bathroom to myself. I'm not a bit shy and I don't mind showering with others, but there are just some things that require a little...ah...privacy...ya know?


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