Monday, February 01, 2010

Pardon me while I redefine myself

I suppose that's what I've been doing for the last few weeks. Redefining myself as a non-smoker. Ex-smoker. No-longer-smoker.

I don't smoke anymore.

I don't smoke anymore.

Wait. I can't do this. Yes. Yes, I can do this. I'm doing it.

It's been a whole month. A little over 4 weeks. 29 days. Since I've had a cigarette.

I just shut it off. No drugs. No patches or gum. Just...stopped. And I had become a heavy smoker. Like 2-3 packs a day heavy.

I still can't believe it and I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do now...ya know? Like...who I am.

I know that surely sounds stupid to those of you that don't smoke...have never smoked. Hell, it sounds kinda stupid to me. But there it is. It's the way I feel.

I'm having a hard time figuring out who I am now that I'm a non-smoker. I mean...it's been with me for so long. A good 35+ years. That's a long time to have a best friend.

I can't imagine what a drug addict that kicks the habit or an alcoholic who stops drinking feels like. On second thought, yea...I probably do know. Probably much the same as I do right now.

Kinda....lost.

I'll surely get the hang of it...sooner or later.

8 Comments:

At 6:48 PM , Blogger Peoria Anti Pundit said...

I tried the patches. Couldn't keep them lit.

 
At 8:46 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

CHANTIX and lots of gum.

 
At 3:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work! You're an inspiration to us wanna-be quitters.

 
At 11:55 AM , Anonymous jillyrene said...

I quit six years ago. I know how you feel. You will soon be yourself again, but better without the cigs. I was a 2 pack a day girl for 30 years. Hang in there its worth it.

 
At 12:53 PM , Anonymous MrsDoF said...

Take up knitting or scrapbooking. Addictions have different outlets :)

 
At 4:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Pammy, i quit smoking must be near onto 20 yr ago. Like you, cold turkey. Just took a notion one day to do it and that was the end. Surprising what we can do when we put our minds to it...huh?
I remember the most difficult times were when i felt i needed to sit down from working my butt off to have a smoke break. Took me awhile to realize that i could still sit down and take a break even w/o the ciggy. And so i did. Was a revelation@ ..lol
Got to admit the urge to grab a cig still gets me on a rare occasion, altho less often as the yrs go by. But not sure i could become a smoker again, ever. My lungs would collapse, not to mention the skull abrasions from smaking myself for being so dumb as to take up something i thought i'd overcome.. Hugs, Susie-Q

 
At 7:48 PM , Blogger Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

I quite for 23 yrs and started again 5 yrs ago. I quit again just before Christmas. It's been over a month and I'm in it for the long haul again. Working out! It helps! LOL When you realize you can't breath you have got to give yourself credit for not smoking! Now get moving! It will remind you why you quit! Congratulations!

 
At 8:31 PM , Blogger Pammy said...

PAP - Heheheh...cute.

Anon #1 - I tried Chantix. Twice. First time, it was ok, but I think I just wasn't ready. Second time it gave me awful nightmares.

Anon #2 - Thanks!

Jillyrene - I'm hangin. It's good to hear that I'll be me again. heh

MrsDoF - Oooo...scrapbooking. Now there's an idea.

SusieQ & MAWB - Thanks for the encouraging words!

 

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