Pardon me while I redefine myself

I suppose that's what I've been doing for the last few weeks. Redefining myself as a non-smoker. Ex-smoker. No-longer-smoker.

I don't smoke anymore.

I don't smoke anymore.

Wait. I can't do this. Yes. Yes, I can do this. I'm doing it.

It's been a whole month. A little over 4 weeks. 29 days. Since I've had a cigarette.

I just shut it off. No drugs. No patches or gum. Just...stopped. And I had become a heavy smoker. Like 2-3 packs a day heavy.

I still can't believe it and I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do now...ya know? Like...who I am.

I know that surely sounds stupid to those of you that don't smoke...have never smoked. Hell, it sounds kinda stupid to me. But there it is. It's the way I feel.

I'm having a hard time figuring out who I am now that I'm a non-smoker. I mean...it's been with me for so long. A good 35+ years. That's a long time to have a best friend.

I can't imagine what a drug addict that kicks the habit or an alcoholic who stops drinking feels like. On second thought, yea...I probably do know. Probably much the same as I do right now.

Kinda....lost.

I'll surely get the hang of it...sooner or later.