Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Plodding, plodding, plodding, plodding, plodding....

Jeeezus H. Keerist. Is this winter ever gonna be over? I'd swear ta gawd that it's been here for at least 23 months.

I'm so sick of the cold and the snow and the sleet and the freezing rain and the freezing fog and the wind chills and the ice and the fuckin potholes...oh, those potholes. They're like running, scabby sores on the syphiletic dick of Illinois roads.

Is that how you spell "syphiletic"? I don't give a shit enough to look it up.

I know there's no sense in bitchin about the weather or the potholes. It's Illinois in February. That's all the explanation needed.

But gawddammit, I NEED some warm breezes. I NEED some sun.

One of my co-workers is headin out to Arizona tomorrow for a vacation. And another one is headin off to Florida this Saturday. They're both absolutely delightful women and I love 'em to death...but I wanted to spit in their faces.

I feel like a plant that's about to wither up and die if I don't get some sun soon. I feel dried out, wrung out, strung out, used up. I think I've developed a raging, incurable case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I don't know how people stand to live in places like Minnesota or North Dakota. I'd hang myself.

I wanna wear my sandals. I wanna sit on the deck and drink beer and listen to Jimmy Buffet. I wanna open all the windows and let the spring breeze in. I wanna see some color.

I just want this winter to be sooooo over.



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