Ow! Ow! Ow!

My butt hurts and all I had was a lousy eye exam.

I'm blind as a bat. Have been all my life. If I didn't wear glasses, I'd be legally blind.

Hey...now there's a thought. If I can't afford glasses, could I be declared legally blind and get disability?

Nah. Prolly doesn't work that way, does it?

It's been five years since my last eye exam and I've been having a little trouble seeing things at a distance, so I stopped in my usual eyeglass dispensing chain store yesterday to have the ole baby blues checked out.

Of course, my script needed "tweaking". I knew it did.

It got tweaked to the tune of FOUR HUNDRED AND SIXTY FRIGGIN DOLLARS!

And that's with a "substantial" discount because of where I work. Substantial, my ass.

I know I have a "tough" prescription. Like I said, I'm blind. I hafta have the thinner lenses which, of course, cost more. If I didn't get those, my glasses would look like I was wearin a coupla fishbowls on my eyes. "Coke bottle lenses" don't even begin to describe it.

But...gawddamn!

Now I know very little about how lenses are ground...or however the hell they make them. But I can't imagine what on earth they hafta do to them to justify $287 (WITH my "discount") because that's what they stuck me for. The frames were only $112 with the discount. The killer is, they were $150 frames to start with. A hundred and fifty bucks for about two ounces of plastic. And those weren't the most expensive ones...I grabbed one pair and tried 'em on...liked 'em...til I saw the price tag. TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE DOLLARS!

Holy shit, Batman!

Add in 30 bucks for the exam, 15 for the "Eyewear Protection Plan" and 11 for "ADD High Rx + or - 6 Diopters" (whatever the hell that is) and I could have made two friggin car payments. Talk about a racket.

I came home and started checkin out places online that sell eyeglasses. I found a place that would do my tough script AND had some neat frames. Their price? $127...with free shipping, no less. I do need a spare pair, but the idea of ordering glasses online makes me kinda hinky. They didn't say anything about any kind of guarantee, so I'd just be screwed outa $127 if they weren't right.

Anybody ever try one of those places?

I dunno what to do...order online and take my chances or order another pair from the original place...and bend over again.

At least I wouldn't hafta bend over quite as far...if I order a second pair within 30 days, I get 50% off.

Who knew havin your eyes checked could make your butt hurt so much?