Tuesday, August 09, 2016

My heart....it's breaking

I'm here to tell you....life is too short. Take that vacation. Spend time with the ones you love. Don't hold grudges. Don't waste time on drama or yearning for something better. Be happy. Before you know it, it's over. You turn around and they're gone.

My darling...my love...as corny as it sounds, my soulmate...has stage 4 colon cancer. It's essentially everywhere. I think I'm in shock. A month ago, he was still working...he mowed the yard. Today, he's lying on the sofa, pale,
weak but thankfully, pain-free thanks to Mr. Morphine. He calls them his "feelgood pills". More like "feelnothing". 
We got the diagnosis less than a week ago. It feels like months already. Sooooo many things to do, arrange, think about, plan. We had no plans other than I was supposed to go first. At least, that's the way I planned it. I don't really wanna be here without him.
We were so looking forward to his retirement. He was thisclose to being there. We were gonna travel. Or just stay here in our little bungalow and...enjoy it. Do nothing...or everything. Together. Now he can't retire. If he does, he loses his insurance. 
Rock, meet hard place.
If you take anything at all away from this, please....please....don't take those you love for granted because one day, they just....won't be there. Cherish every day...every moment. 

You're born, you blink...and it's over.