Saturday, February 23, 2008

Color my world

I think when I look back on this winter, it won't be fondly.

I think when I look back on this winter, I'll remember it like a bad, old black and white movie...varying shades of gray, white and muddy brown. And not just because of the weather.

See, I've felt bad all winter. Not quite sick enough to seek medical attention (gawd forbid!)...I kept thinkin I'd feel better...eventually. At one point, I was pretty much convinced I had some kind of terminal disease. My aging body just wasn't...right. Something just wasn't right.

And, when you feel bad physically, the mind is sure to follow. Thankfully, we haven't had any major catastrophes in our little family this winter. If we had, it might just have been enough to send me right into a full-blown depression. But things outside my control...outside my own little realm of reality...have just seemed to trouble me more than usual.

The war. Lying politicians. Stupidity. Death and destruction and man's inhumanity to man. The general state of the world, ya know?

But, for whatever reason, in the last...oh...several body seems to be...rallying. Things seem to be working like they're supposed to, though I'm almost afraid to say I'll jinx it or something. And like a little kid, tagging behind his big brother, my mind is following.

I feel better.

I'm not quite...back. I'm not quite me. Yet.

I think I need....color. I need lime green and apple green and chartreuse. I need puce and magenta and mango. I need scarlet and orange and lemony yellow. I need sky blue and sparkling turquoise and lapis.

I need a feast for my eyes. For my soul. I feel the need for this almost as much as I feel the need to eat and breathe.

I paint, but it's not like I'm feeling especially creative right now. I just need to see color...not necessarily use it. I feel like a little...color therapy...will pull me the rest of the way back from whatever funk I've been in.

A little color therapy and a little shoppin therapy.

Now, I rarely use "shopping therapy", but I think I'll do a little shopping today. Not necessarily to buy anything. I dont' need a damn thing....unless it's on sale. heh But the spring clothes are out. Spring colors. Oh...but I am gonna buy some flowers. Pots of hyacinths and daffodils. And maybe a big armful of mixed hothouse flowers.

Color. I think it's just what I need.


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