Friday, February 02, 2007

Some Peorian...

...has far, far too much discretionary time on their hands, as evidenced by the email I just got. Don't shoot me...I'm just the messenger.

(A three-post series)

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Peoria market:

Weaver Ridge Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at Grand Prairie. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Dunlap Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching velour gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Peoria Country Club Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Bartonville Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Creve Coeur Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

(I'll continue in another post)


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