Friday, October 21, 2011

My 57th trip around the sun...

...and all I got were these fuckin cataracts.

So. At my last office visit, my doc suggested that I have a really good eye exam as I hadn't had one in several years.

It just so happened that my eye appointment was yesterday...just one day before my birthday. Honestly, it was the best, most thorough eye exam I've ever had. They numbed up my eyeballs. They dilated my pupils. They poked and prodded and peered deep into the recesses of my vitreous humor.

Doc - "The good news is, your eyes look reasonably healthy."

Me - "What's the bad news?"

Doc - "Well, you have a tiny cataract."

Me - (Thinking...oh fer gawd's sake...a fuckin cataract?? Krist on a crutch...first arthritis and now a cataract? I'm not even 57 yet!!) "I do?? Which eye?"

Doc - "Um...both of 'em."

Doc - "But the good news is, they aren't interfering with your sight. Yet. And when they do, we can take care of 'em and you won't ever have to wear glasses again."

Me - "And when might that happen?"

Doc - "Oh, it could be years and years before they start to interfere with your sight."

Swell. By that time, I won't know my ass from a hole in the ground, probably won't know my own name and more than likely won't even know...or care...if I wear glasses or not.



I was a little hippie chick, fer chrissake! I went barefoot and braless! I hitchhiked! I smoked dope, dammit!


At 6:34 AM , Blogger Elisson said...

Welcome to my world.

They say if you live long enough, you're pretty much guaranteed to get cataracts. But the doc is right: there's a simple surgical procedure to get rid of 'em, and afterwards your vision is better than ever. (I have friends who have had it done.)

57? Aw, yer just a kid.

At 10:42 PM , Anonymous Mary said...

I feel your pain. Last month at my regualr eye exam it turns out that I now have increased IOP. And, did I mention I'm now doing physical therapy for my knee? I think I'm depresseder than hell!

Hope you had a great birthday old (and I mean that in the nicest, most respectable way)friend!!

At 10:44 AM , Blogger Pammy said...

Thanks for the "just a kid" comment, Elisson...even if you ARE lying. heh

Awww, Mary...Happy Birthday to you, too, buddy! I miss you!

At 10:10 PM , Blogger Mrs. Who said...

Happy (now belated) birthday...even if the doctor gave you bad-news birthday gift.

Damn youth and skill is always overtaken by old age and treachery. How can anyone win????

At 10:34 PM , Blogger Nate said...

Happy Birthday Pam! How are you celebrating? Besides groping around blindly in the dark that is...

I kid!

At 10:24 AM , Anonymous mostly cajun said...

Yep! Just a kid.

And pretty cute as a hippie chick,too...

I've made 61 and no cataracts, no heart attacks, no bad joints... so WE can survive...



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