I need some cream for my crack

For my TOE. My TOE is cracked.

I only work from 8 to 12 on Friday (I know..it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it) so yesterday afternoon, I did a little shoppin. Every once in a while, I noticed that my big toe on my right foot hurt. I had on great shoes that I've worn before, so I didn't figure it was a blister. By the time I got home, it hurt...BAD. So I did a little investigating.

Turns out my big toe is cracked open on the end. Uh huh. A big, ole crack. Hurts like hell every time I step down on my right foot. And, as you know, steppin down is pretty much a requirement to...uh...walk on two feet.

We've had unseasonably cold weather this last week. Cold and dry. Every winter, "cold and dry" translates into most of my skin turning into dry, itchy alligator hide, especially on my feet. I've tried damn near every lotion and potion with very little success. The closest thing I've ever come to almost fixing it was something called "Zim's Crack Cream". No kiddin.

Cream. For cracks.

'Course now, I can't find it anywhere.

My hands are already startin to feel like sandpaper, too. And my elbows. And my legs? Good gawd! I need to shave 'em every day...just to peel the dead skin off.

I'm thinkin a good humidifier might help. And some more of that Zim's...if I can find it. It's either that or fill the bathtub up with olive oil and just wallow in it every night.

I dunno. I'm thinkin this winter's gonna be really hard on my cracks.