Monday, January 14, 2008

Monday morning rants and raves

It's Monday. And it's yucky and gray and cold...spittin snow. What better time to bitch a little, eh?

Yes, he's magnificent. A wild, regal creature that was once quite threatened. But he's made a great comeback. And I know what a thrill it is to observe him in his natural habitat. And, believe me, I do understand that you want to experience that thrill of seeing one (or more) in that natural habitat.
While this area isn't exactly thick with 'em, there are quite a few right now. It's "prime time" for eagle watchin here.

But the thing is...see...I'm lucky enough to share that natural habitat with them.

And because of that, I must say...

Don't come down here in your damn humongous yuppie-SUVmobile, block the whole fuckin street and sit there in the warmth of your carbon monoxide-spewing yuppie-SUVmobile (because, gawd forbid, you might get cold and gawd forbid you might hafta do something like...actually walk somewhere) so you can watch these magnificent creatures in comfort.

I it just me, or does anyone else see more than a little irony in that?

And another thing...

Ya know the reusable tote bags that have become soooo politically correct? Ok, so I bought three. But don't go gettin any ideas about me gettin soft in my old age. Ya know where ya can stick "politically correct", doncha? Aaanywho, I love 'em.

They're sturdy. They hold a lotta shit. And they're waaaaay easier to carry than those damn plastic bags. "Saving the environment" just happens to be a nice bonus.

But this isn't really about those nice, sturdy totes. Exactly.

It's about the baggers at the stores.

Over the last several years, I've noticed that it's's that catchphrase again..."politically correct"...for some grocery stores to hire the...ah...shall we say, mentally challenged to be baggers.

Now, I'm all for letting those who are developmentally handicapped earn a living. If there's something productive they can do, then hellyah...more power to 'em. Way ta go! It's wonderful. They should be treated exactly like everyone else.

And they should be trained like everyone else.

Like how to pack those nice, sturdy totes.

Oh, and Mr. Store Owner? Don't go gettin any ideas that I shop there because you're like this beneficent, magnanimous employer that hires the handicapped. I know why you do it. You do it because it's politically correct. And because you want the public to think you're this beneficent, magnanimous employer.

But lemme letcha in on a little secret.

I don't shop there because I think you're all beneficent and magnanimous. And I sure as shit don't shop there because you're the cheapest.

I shop there because it's handy. Period. And, in fact, if you don't start training these people on how to fill up a damn grocery bag, I'll just find someplace that's a little less handy.

Better yet, I'll start goin to a "bag yer own" joint.


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