CAT-atonia

Good gawd...I've resorted to cat-blogging



Hello. My name is Stewie. I'm neurotic, schizophrenic and obsessive-compulsive. Oh. And I also have pica.

I've been a cat lover since I was a teeny-tiny kid. I've owned...oh...lessee...probably somewhere in the neighborhood of ten cats throughout my lifetime. Maybe more. Probably more. Most were wonderful companions. They did normal cat stuff. Ya know...like purring. And meowing. And snuggling. They liked being loved on. They acted like they actually liked me.

Not this one.

Stewie doesn't purr. Stewie doesn't meow...unless he's frustrated. Then it's only one or two MAOWWW's. I could count on one hand the times he meows in a week. Stewie absolutely does not snuggle. In fact, I think he'd prefer to not be touched...at all.

Once in a while, he forgets himself and allows Zig or I to pet him. But only for a minute. And more often than not, after a brief scritch or two, he'll get this crazed look in his eyes and go all Mohammed on my ass and attack. I KILL YOU!!!

At any given time, both my and the Zigster's hands and arms look like they've been run through a paper shredder.



His favorite place to hang out is on top of the bathroom door. Unless we have the ladder to the loft in place. Then he'll hang on the ladder.

(Aren't you lucky? I was gonna post a few more pictures, but Blogger's uploader thingy just took a big poop.)

And about the pica. Plastic. Christmas ribbon. Anything sparkly finds it's way into his gullet...and usually right back out again. Along with whatever kibble or stinky cat food he's had recently. Lovely. He's completely obsessed with that Glad Press & Seal crap. All I hafta do is open the drawer where it's kept and he's right there. He looooves it.

Kitty treats? Nosireebob! Just gimme a wad of that stuff.

I try really hard to keep him from eating some of this crap...I keep warnin him that if he doesn't stop, I'll wind up havin to give him an enema. And I'm pretty sure neither of us would enjoy that.

I dunno...he's just the...oddest...cat I've ever had.

Do they make Kitty Prozac?

'Course, I'd hafta wad it up in a piece of that Press & Seal stuff to get him to take it.