They'll get my vibrator when they pry it from my cold, dead hands

There is a landmark legal battle of constitutional proportions being fought down in Mississippi. It involves fundamental rights protected by the First and Fourteenth Amendments, not to mention the rights of certain small business owners to satisfy their customers. This week, another court refused to recognize Mississippians’ right to find companionship for 29.99 and so a law outlawing the sale of sex toys will stand.

The whole story is

here

and was pointed out to me by a good pal who, I'm sure, realized that it'd spawn a lively rant from yours truly. (Thanks, SusieQ!)

This is just soooo wrong on soooo many levels.

Like Mississippi, one of the poorest states in the union, doesn't have enough problems. Abrams addresses some of those issues and he's far better at that than I am, so I won't bother repeating what he says in the article.

But I'm concerned with the fact that Mississippi is gonna have a couple hundred thousand frustrated housewives to deal with on top of all their other problems.

I'm thinkin of the scene in the classic "Frankenstein" where the outraged villagers march on Dr. Frankenstein's castle brandishing pitchforks and torches, screaming for the monster's head.
Change the locale to the Mississippi state capitol building, change the villagers to disheveled, harried-looking women, take the pitchforks away and add a "mother's little helper". I can hear the buzz already.

Got the scene in your head?

I'd be willing to bet that the majority of Mississippi's legislators are male. Do they have ANY idea what they're doing? Don't answer that. Of course they do. They're trying to legislate morality. Well...their view of morality, anyway.
It doesn't say anything about the right of Mississippians to OWN "..any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs..."...but if there's not already a law on the books, I'll bet it won't take 'em long to create one.

How much ya wanna bet that penis pumps (providing they have a prescription) are still A-ok, though?

Aside from the fact that they're trying to enforce their definition of "morality", I'll betcha there's another reason for it, too. They're all trying to defend their damned Victorian, Bubba-esque sense of manhood. They're threatened by the fact that women CAN...and DO...look for a little sexual satisfaction somewhere other than their redneck, beer-swillin, bloat-gutted, micro-dicked, Mullet-sportin husbands or boyfriends. Ya know the ones I'm talkin about? If they even CAN get it up, it's one of those 'missionary-only/two-minute miracles'. After they fart, they give ya a pat on the ass, roll over and go to sleep.

Mississippi legislators wanna stick their nose in people's bedrooms...or bathrooms...or living rooms...even grocery stores or your local WalMart. Hell, let's face it...have vibrator, will travel. They can go just about anywhere. Ever see a woman with a big smile on her face while fondling the cukes in the produce section at the local Kroger? Ever wonder just why in the hell she looks so happy? Mmm-hmmm...they make remote controlled ones that fit in your panties, too.

That's the beauty of those little battery-operated gadgets of joy. They're portable and cheap. Ya don't hafta worry about whether or not they'll call the next day. They're always...uh...up and ready to go. They don't require feeding, ego-stroking and ya don't hafta do your hair to spend a little...quality time with 'em. They don't expect you to look like a Victoria's Secret model, they don't care whether you had a shower today or whether your ass looks big in those jeans and they last as long as the batteries hold out. They don't fart, snore, pick their nose, leave skidmarks in their beeveedee's or get an erection every time they walk into Home Depot.

Oh...and they don't wear Mullets...always a BIG plus in MY book.