Sunday, February 23, 2014

Is this thing still on?

Well, another year, another life-threatening disease., three, now....days ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Right now, I'm so fucking....pissed....I'm MAD, dammit.

I don't wanna be "strong". I don't wanna be anybody's "hero". I wanna whine and bitch and moan, "Why meeeeee?" I don't want this. Give it to somebody else. Preferably somebody I don't know. Some stranger that's been a shitty person all their life. As opposed to me...who's only had brief periods of being a shitty person.

Anyway, the doc says that this won't kill me. But she also said that this particular type of tumor I have is malignant only 10% of the time. So I'm not holding my breath on the not killing me part. I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

The plan is that I'll have a partial mastectomy with "sentinel" (whatever that is) lymph node removal, followed by 4-6 weeks of radiation....5 days a week. It'll be a huge pain in my ass. But I guess when ya consider the alternative.... I don't know if I'll be able to keep working. They say that radiation causes extreme fatigue. I can't imagine being any more fatigued than I am right now after working an 8 hour day.

So, instead of giving up Lollygaggin (like I was planning), I suppose I'll turn it into a cheery, little breast cancer blog. Fuck.

At least I'll have something to talk about.

Did I mention that I was pissed?


At 10:44 AM , Blogger Omnibabe said...

I don't blame you at all. And, quite frankly, outright pissed-offedness will probably serve you better in this fight.

I'm pissed off on your behalf.

Big hugs!

At 2:40 PM , Blogger Wil said...

Still on. Very p.o.'d on your behalf - Cancer sucks. You are braver than I am. I'd just curl up in a ball and cry. Just who's Cheerios, of all the gods and goddesses in the Pantheon, did you piss in, anyways?

Here's hoping all goes well in treatment and recovery land. Come back and bitch at us soon ... Ziggy needs the break.

At 10:37 PM , Blogger Pammy said...

Thanks for being pissed for me, Leslie...and thanks for the hugs. I need all I can get.

Wil, I did curl up in a ball and cry. And THEN I got mad. LOL Thanks for the good thoughts.

At 1:04 PM , Blogger pamibe said...

Well, DAMN. I'd be frightened at first but yes, SO angry! Fight! Fight with everything you've got!


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home