Friday, August 17, 2007

I bet poor ole Elvis is rollin in his grave

(Though I suppose if he had an erection, he couldn't roll over...right?)

I dunno about you, but I find it highly ironic...on several levels...(not to mention just, plain wrong...somehow)...that one of his songs is being used to tout Viagra.

"Viva, Viagra! Viva, Viagra! Viva...Viva...Viagra!"

I mean...c'mon....for one thing, The Pelvis was s'posda be such a great cocksman, wasn't he? Elvis doan need no steenkin Viagra!

'Course, there at the end, I imagine his poor ole arteries pretty much resembled those peanut butter and banana sammiches he was so fond of. When the plumbin gets plugged up boys, ain't nothin gonna work the way it's s'posda, right up to...uh...down to...the ole Johnson.

Hey, if blood can't get through the arteries, your
  • corpus cavernosum
  • is gonna remain as unfilled as a broke, aging starlet's swimmin pool.

    No wood. Not even a splinter.

    For another thing, he supposedly died of a heart attack on the shitter, right?

    "Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex."

    Yea. Like the ole Elvi-heart was healthy enough for sex. I mean the guy couldn't even pinch off a loaf...let alone knock off a piece...without keelin over.

    And the guys in the commercial look soooo happy. They all sport these really goofy grins. And I suppose they want ya to believe that they all have these enormous erections.

    Yea, right. They're sittin around, singin this stupid song instead of out bangin all the dollies, so why the hell are the dumbasses grinnin?

    Kee-rist. Kill me. Kill me, now.


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