Oh, fer the lova gawd....

Can you hear the trees screaming, Clarice?

So, we get a letter from the IRS today. Both of us. Even though Ziggy and I filed a joint tax return, we each got a letter.

We are pleased to inform you that the United States Congress passed and President George W. Bush signed into law the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American households. Under this new law, you may be entitled to a payment of up to $600 ($1200 if filing a joint return), plus additional amounts for each qualifying child.

First of all, just who hasn't heard about this? I suppose if you live in a cave and don't have access to a radio, tv or the internet, this might come as a pleasant surprise. But I think most Americans have heard about this somewhere at some point in the last couple of months.

If ya haven't, you're just plain ignorant and don't deserve an economic stimulus payment (which is just a nice way of saying, "You poor, dumb suckers...here's some of your own money back. Don't say Uncle Sam never gave ya anything.") any damn way.

We didn't really need a letter to tell us about this, did we?

Ka-CHING!

Secondly, if we file jointly, doncha think the IRS coulda saved another buck or two by sending just one letter to those who filed....uh...jointly? I mean...it sounds like they're gonna send just one check if you filed...uh...jointly.

Let's say...remember, a hundred and thirty million households...at least half of those households probably filed jointly. That coulda cut it down to 65 million letters. Why not a joint letter, huh?

Ka-CHING!

But wait! That's not the best part.

All individuals receiving payments will receive a notice and additional information shortly before the payment is made.

A hundred and thirty million MORE letters. Before the actual check is sent.

We get a letter...to tell us a letter is coming...to tell us a check is coming.

Ka-CHING! Ka-CHING! Ka-CHING!

Jeezus H. Keerist.

Each and every one of those hundred and thirty million households prolly coulda got twice the amount they're gonna get if the damned IRS didn't have to kill eleventy million trees.

But, nooooooooo. We get letters. To tell us more letters are coming. To tell us a check is coming.

Oh. My. Gawd.

The incredible waste. The sheer stupidity. The overwhelming indignity.

Oh, the humanity!

Oh wait. I forgot. We are talkin about the government, aren't we?