Thursday, June 04, 2009

Grave dancer

Honestly...I don't mean to be. In fact, back in the day, I was somewhat of a fan, having had a couple-three years of karate lessons under my green belt. Honest ta gawd. Believe it or not, for a fat girl, I was always pretty limber.

But snide and sarcastic bitch that I am, I'd be completely remiss if I let this slide.

  • "I can confirm that we found his body, naked, hanging in the closet," Teerapop said. He said police were investigating and suspected suicide, though one of his managers questioned that theory.

  • ...though one of his managers questioned that theory.


    So. He was found dead. Hanging in a closet. Naked.

    I, of course, have a couple of "theories" of my own.

    It could have been a perfectly innocent suicide. He had a shower. All nice and clean...cleansed, so to speak...he decided to kill himself and made do with the materials at hand. A curtain cord and a closet pole.

    Understandable, I suppose, given his age (72) and the state of his career for the last couple of decades.

    However, as offbeat a character as he was, he was still 72. Most 72 year old guys who decide to commit suicide wouldn't be caught dead (pun very much intended) with their wrinkly, old-man bits hanging out for all the world to see.

    My second theory...well...I'm pretty sure ya know I'm leaning toward this one...
  • autoerotic asphyxiation

  • Not a pretty thought, but there it is.

    The thing that bothers me about this particular theory is that he was in Bankok.
    Bankok, fer chrissake. The irony of the name aside, it's a place where you can buy pretty much any kind of hooker with any kind of kink or fetish...for like...three American dollars.

    Ok. Given the value of the American dollar nowadays, maybe four.

    I dunno. 'Tis a puzzle that'll never be solved.

    It's just a pretty damn ignoble ending for cool old Caine.


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