Monday, April 26, 2010

It's about time, doncha think?

Day after tomorrow, we'll have lived here at the River Rat Retreat for three years.
Damn! Time flies when you're havin fun, eh?

Aaaanywho, we've lived right damn-smack on the river for three years without a boat...until now.

Our newest toy is a 16' Mark Twain Runabout. It's in excellent condition...the guy that we bought it from took exceptional care of it...and it shows.

We bought it Saturday...and, of course, it rained all day. It rained all day Sunday, too, so we haven't had a "maiden" voyage, yet.

It's supposed to rain next weekend, as well. But I'm thinkin we'll be out on that river next weekend, no matter what the weather is.

'Course, a boat has to have a name. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My eyes hurt

Dear Sir,

You look to be in your late 70's/early 80's, though I'm not a very good judge of age. You look to be in pretty good shape for an old guy. You're not obese, but you're not one of those old, ropy-looking guys, either.

You obviously try to take care of yourself because I see you swimming laps at the pool nearly every time I go.

You more than likely served our country proudly in the Phillipines or perhaps in France or might've even been one of the lucky ones who survived Omaha Beach or Normandy. If you're younger than I think, it might've been Korea.

You probably have a lovely wife, whom you've been married to for over 50 years and you might have a grandchild or two.

In other words, you look like a perfectly nice, fairly well-maintained old gentleman. As such, I suppose you're entitled to wear pretty much whatever pleases you.

But, for the love of gawd, man....if you feel that you must wear a Speedo, could you try to do a little...ah...manscaping on the old, gray pubes?


A fellow swimmer

If he'd draw a smiley-face on the crotch of his Speedos, he'd look exactly like Chester B. Arthur.

Ya know...there are some things that just sear themselved onto your ole retinas and ya can't ever get rid of the image.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Invasion of the Pammy Snatchers

I don't wanna toot my own horn, but...


In one week. And I didn't even suffer. Much.

So I joined Weight Watchers a week ago today. I also joined the Y again and started water walking in their TURTTLE pool. I don't know what TURTTLE stands for. I assume it's some kinda acronym, but maybe somebody just didn't know how to spell TURTLE. So anywho, this pool is like a channel, 3 ft. deep (which hits me just under my boobs) and has a fairly strong current.

The idea is to...well...walk (or jog) around it, as the water makes it really easy on the joints and the current helps with the whole resistance thing. While it's not anywhere near close to say...running a 5K, it IS way more exercise than I'm used to, for sure. It's a good workout if you do it right.

Aaaanyway...somehow I arrived at the deduction that I should walk the pool for 30 minutes, three times a week.

So, here's the running conversation I have in my head while I'm walking:

The first 5 minutes: "Ohhhh...the water feels good. This is great...not too crowded. This 30 minutes will fly by. Awww...look at the old couple...aren't they sweet, bless their hearts."

The 15 minute mark: "Damn. I've only been in here 15 minutes? Why don't those two old guys stop running their yaps and get outa my way?"

The 20 minute mark: "I fucking HATE this fucking water. Why in the hell did I ever decide that I needed to do this for thirty fucking minutes? And why has my OCD decided to kick in now, essentially forcing me to finish the whole 30 minutes or something horrible will happen? Move your saggy ass, you old gurn!"

The 25 minute mark: "For chrissake! Is that fucking clock stopped? I'm startin to look like Pruny McPruneass. Oh. My. Gawd. Please promise me if I ever get that old, you'll kill me."

The 30 minute mark: "Wow! 30 minutes? Already? That wasn't bad at all!"

I dunno why, but I feel like this attempt to lose weight is different. Maybe it's because I had such an easy time quitting smoking. I feel like maybe...just, I feel like I will do it.

I don't have any wild illusions that I'll become truly thin. Ain't gonna happen. I just want to be at a weight that I feel good at...and I'm pretty sure I can get there.

I figure by this weekend, Ziggy's gonna start lookin for pods in the basement.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


I suppose because of the atmospheric conditions this morning, the sun looked like a giant, glowing drop of pure gold.

I like to take pictures of the sunrise. I only see 'em three times a week. heh

I did 30 minutes of walking and 20 or so minutes of stretching/lollygagging in the pool at the Y today. Good gawd...I was so freakin relaxed on the drive home, I thought I might fall asleep. It felt goooood.

Now if I can just do that three times a week....

Monday, April 12, 2010


That's the sound of spring...well...springing...around here.

The pelicans are back! The pelicans are back!

The Mallards, however...well, they never leave...

Maggie and Milton take a stroll around the yard.

Everything's blooming and I'm so ready to start planting I can't stand it. I'm trying to hold off until at least the 25th...there's been many a time I've gotten antsy to plant and had everything freeze when we got a hard frost at the end of April.

But this waiting stuff is damn hard for an impatient person.

In other news, I joined Weight Watchers last week. I've gained almost 20 pounds since I quit smoking (I'm still doing great at that, thankfully.) and I've got to do something. Ya know...I know WW works great for some people...but it ever a racket. I can't see myself being a "member" for too awful long...I'm just not a "joiner". I figure if I can quit smoking, I can surely stop shoving food into my mouth. Surely. heh

I also joined the Y again to use their walking pool. I think that'll probably help as much as anything. That, however, entailed buying a new swim suit.

Oh. My. Gawd. I feel awful sorry for all those other folks that show up to use the pool at the same time as me.

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Wish me luck...I'm gonna need it.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

If you're not already scared (and you should be)...

...this oughta terrify you.

So how many more just like him are in Congress?

""My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize."

Later, a staffer tried to explain that he was speaking "metaphorically".

Yea. Right. Sure as shit didn't sound like he was speaking metaphorically.

In fact, I'd be really surprised if he knows what a freakin metaphor is.

Gawd help us all.

Swiped from
  • Pam